bush delivers ultimatum to iraq


Bush Delivers Ultimatum to Iraq

In a nationally televised address from London, members of the alternative rock group Bush delivered a tough ultimatum to Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein. "For too long, Iraq has been subject to the tyranny of this madman," lead singer Gavin Rossdale announced. "Truly, there is no sex in Saddam's violence, both against his own people and those in neighboring countries. The time for negotiation has ended. The time has come to rock Baghdad."

The band presented a plan for a rock concert directly outside Hussein's presidential palace. If the embattled leader did not step down in 48 hours, the band was prepared to play a long set, featuring the entirety of the band's poorly received sophmore effort, "Razorblade Suitcase." At press time, band members had not ruled out the use of a second chord.

Rossdale continued, "People of Iraq, don't let the days go by. I couldn't change, though I wanted to, but you have the power to change the leadership of your country." He then stepped away from the podium and tongue kissed Gwen Stefani for nearly ten unbroken minutes.


There had been question earlier in the week as to Stefani's role in the Bush Ultimatum. Receiving pressure from other members of her own band, she was thought to have been wavering on the issue of rocking the palace. "We are concerned [in the wake of a massive backlash from the rest of the crappy music community] about Stefani's allegiance to the Bush stance and have advised her not to get in bed with Rossdale and his cowboy attitude," stated one of the guys from No Doubt who isn't Gwen Stefani. Bush made it clear that, while they would be disheartened by the absence of Stefani and No Doubt in their campaign, they had no qualms about initiating a unilateral rocking of the palace. When Bush was confronted about the rich Glycerine deposits in the Iraqi soil, Rossdale skirted the issue. But when asked "Everything Zen?", his answer was clear and worthy of a leader: "I don't think so."

I like the use of the term "tongue kissed." Clearly, saying "French kissed" could have confused us all in these internationally complicated times.

don't you mean "freedom kissed"?

Bush had a 2nd album?! Damn, I learn something new from Sean every day.

Two albumns, one mission: Rock.

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This page contains a single entry by Sean Keane published on March 20, 2003 3:07 AM.

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