nfl playoff preview, 1/14/06


Washington Redskins at Seattle Seahawks


The tough Washington defense faces off with NFL MVP Shaun Alexander in know what, there's just no way Washington is winning. Seattle is the top seed in the NFC, Washington is the lowest seed. Seattle won 13 games this year, Washington won 10. Seattle has rested its starters for weeks, and had no game last weekend. Washington has had to win each of its games for the last six weeks. Seattle is playing at home, Washington had to fly cross-country for this game.

Nevertheless, I will be rooting irrationally for Washington today. For unknown reasons, the Redskins became my second-favorite football team, behind the 49ers, when I was pretty little. I have a feeling that one of my dad's friends tried to subtly brainwash me, probably Kevin O'Brien. Kevin was the one who got me and my sister t-shirts featuring "The Fun Bunch", and he also instilled with me the superstitious belief that one's sitting postion while watching a football game has a profound effect on the outcome of that football game.

So, though I have no real stake in today's game, and prefer Seattle's city, football philosophy, and their non-racist nickname and mascot, I'll still be pulling for the Redskins. And they are totally gonna lose, though their foamhead remains superior.

New England at Denver

Denver is really good, and so is New England. I think Denver will win, because they're at home, and it's a higher altitude, and they have a good pass defense, but there is no way I would wager on this game. I despise the Patriots, or more accurately, I despise Patriots fans. As such, my hatred for the team makes the game nearly unwatchable due to anxiety, and risking money would only compound the error. Damn you, Bill Belichick!

Tom Brady, the New England quarterback, ridiculously said that the Patriots "have been probably disrespected more than any team in the league this year", which was before a game in which his team was favored by more than a touchdown over a 12-4 opponent. It was also about a week after he won the Sportsman of the Year award. Nonetheless, I feel that Tom Brady has been disrespected in the past few weeks, specifically in the Keane house.

My dad's cousin's wife plays tennis with Brady's mother. Since she has done so for years, she remembers Brady as a kid, and as such calls him "Tommy Brady". Since we heard this, my entire family exclusively calls him "Tommy". "Think Tommy and the Pats are gonna win this week?" "Hope Tommy doesn't throw an interception." "Aw, Tommy feels disrespected."

It also makes me wonder why adult male quarterbacks still go by "Joey", "Bobby", or "Tommy" and still expect to command respect. There's a reason why there are a disproportionate number of "Drews" playing quarterback - they're avoiding the potential stigma of "Andy".

I'm going to predict a Broncos victory, mainly due to their foamhead superiority.






I will now disrespect Tom Brady, though it has nothing to do with all those picks he threw yesterday.

Tom Brady, in my home state of Massachusetts, ranks among heroes somewhere between Curt Schilling and your average non-indicted priest. He has those All-American, golden boy (read: handsome and white) looks. It's a fraud.

Tom Brady dated (and presumably schtupped) Tara Reid. Tom Brady has All-American, golden boy herpes.


In related playoff news, I just want to say that I was rooting against the Colts today because I find the Payton Manning Mastercard commercial really offensive, and I want the Panthers to win the Super Bowl because of the cheerleader thing.

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This page contains a single entry by Sean Keane published on January 14, 2006 1:32 PM.

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