Various brief conversations from the past few years:
Sean: What are you eating?
Jay Lee: Cow meat.
Sean: Do you mean beef?
Jay Lee: (pause) Yes.
Gene: (trying to explain the nerdish game, Shadow Run) It's like... do you know what role-playing games are?
Kati: Yes, but I don't think we're talking about the same sense of the term. No whips and chains, right?
Monica: B's are bad, right? B+'s, I mean. Those are bad, right?
Sean: No. A B+ isn't really bad at all. It's frustrating though, because it's close to an A. Basically, a B+ is bad in the same way a handjob is bad. The end result is a net positive, but you're just so close to something way, way better.
Sean: Plus, there's a lot of chafing with both... unless that's just the TAs I've had. Getting a C on a final, and dropping to a B+ is the academic equivalent of a handjob for which you have to wear a condom.
Monica: That is a beautiful analogy.
Sean: Thank you. It's going to be the title of an inspirational book for teenagers.