"Joey Devine Is A Superstar" is happening tonight at the Dark Room. It's an exciting monthly showcase dedicated to standup comedy, videos, and advancing the cause of Joey Devine's superstardom. Last month, Joey debuted an ambitiously-titled feature called "The Movie Game". Comics draw two actors from one hat and a genre from another at the start of the show, then have until the end of the show to write and deliver a movie pitch involving those elements. Let's take a look at last month's participants and the blockbuster ideas they came up with.
Actors: Al Pacino and Anthony Hopkins
Genre: Oscar bait drama
Pitch: In Castro!, Al Pacino plays 60-year-old Fidel Castro, and Anthony Hopkins plays 70-year-old Fidel Castro. 70-year-old Castro has to travel through time to warn 60-year-old Castro about the exploding cigars that JFK sent through the space-time continuum.
Actors: Tom Cruise and Antonio Banderas
Genre: Sexy movie
Pitch: Tom Cruise plays Bill Yards, a legendary pool hustler who wants to learn to dance. Antonio Banderas is Juan Momento, a Spanish salsa instructor who needs to win a billiards tournament to avoid being deported. In a series of tender scenes, Cruise teaches Banderas how to play pool, and Banderas teaches Cruise how to have anal sex. The movie is called Corner Pocket.
Actors: Shaquille O'Neal and Robin Williams
Genre: Buddy movie
Pitch: You Got Served 2: Tall Order
Barack "Brickfeet" Sharpton (Shaq) is a waiter by day, aspiring Chris Brown backup dancer by night. Dallas Raines (Robin Williams) is a post-op transgender man who was once a Rockette dancer in NY. He comes out of retirement to teach Sharpton the art of dance. It's basically You Got Served meets Finding Forrester meets My Giant.
Chris Thayer (had two pitches,; I can't remember the other one)
Actors: Vin Diesel and John Cusack
Genre: Romantic comedy
Pitch: Vin Diesel plays a homophobic operator, whose world is changed when he gets stuck with World Blowjob Champion John Cusack. See the sparks fly in Going Down.
Pitch: The movie opens with That Kid From Twilight sitting in an electric chair. He stares at the camera, and says, "No more Mr. Nice guy." Then gets electrocuted. The next scene has Cedric the Entertainer buying a shirt with his girlfriend, but he's sick of buying clothes. But his girlfriend is like, "Come on baby, try this one on. Another shirt won't kill you." Except, this happens to be the same shirt that That Kid From Twilight wore when he was executed. And it will kill him. So the whole movie is him fighting this killer shirt. It's called, Clothes Call.