|
July 26, 2003
from the archives: goodbye, white tornado, goodbye
A letter written to notably tall Korean Jay Lee, after the Golden State Warriors traded forward Todd Fuller to the Utah Jazz. Fuller was the Warriors' first round pick in 1996, selected two picks ahead of Kobe Bryant, three ahead of Peja Stojakovic, and four ahead of Steve Nash - truly, one of the least savvy personnel moves in NBA history.) February 4, 1999 Dear Jay, I can barely type, as the tears in my eyes are clouding my view of the monitor. I sensed that this day might come, but I was hoping it wouldn't come quite so soon. The Golden State Warriors have turned their backs on an off-season of hard work and a devastating spin move, and traded Todd Fuller to the Utah Jazz for a second-round pick. Apparently, the Warriors had too many players under contract, and decided to get rid of, in the words of Garry St. Jean, "the worst player in NBA history." Fuller went to the Jazz because they were under their quota of tall white players with no offensive skills. This may just be the player who gives the Jazz the final push they need to win the NBA title. Don't under-estimate the value of 2.1 rebounds and 3.4 points per game; over the course of an entire NBA season, that works out to over 150 rebounds and nearly 300 points! Let me tell you, when Fuller comes in for the final 45 seconds of the fourth quarter with the Jazz up by 25, he is going to show some mad skills. Dare I say, this is the player that could make the Utah fans forget Mark Eaton. By trading for the second-round pick of the Jazz in 2000, which could very well be the very last pick in the entire draft, the Warriors sent a message to Fuller that said; "By rule, this is the least we could have gotten for you, but if it were possible to trade you for less, we would have." Knowing the strong will and work ethic of Fuller, I am sure that he will redouble his efforts to show the Warriors their mistake, and in two or three years, make it to the second unit, and be the valuable fifth-man-off-the-bench, contributing his six fouls to the winning effort. Why, by the time Fuller is done with his career, he will be in the hallowed company of such luminaries as Charles Jones and Frank Brickowski. So, goodbye, White Tornado. May you spin to a better place, and play your 2.5 minutes a game using 110% of your limited skills. Godspeed. -Sean
Comments
|
About This Site
Sean Keane on Tumblr
Sean Keane Comedy Dot Com
Short posts, better name-branding
Recent Entries
belize it or guat, part one: the return
garfield is correct singles night: the aftermath singles night at at&t park marcus robinson retires as a chicago bear how gene is like iron man box office poison: iron man election reflections a sean keane update my father's internet famousness
Archives
Search
Backup Blog
Friends and Associates
Cementhorizon
Bertrand Russell Ate My Balls Being Famous Big Stupid Jerkface Brian Dermody Carthage Concrete Skyline Dan Ilic Dolores Park Couture Excess & Defects Fried Twinkie Girl I Fought The Law Hitsville KB Web Nuts To You Omar Seyal Penguin Peckings Pentavirate West - Bow Down When You Come To Our Town Scott Greenwalt Snoqualmie Sushi Tilted Fish The Weblog of J. Alfred Prufrock
San Francisco Comedy
SF Standup
Ali Mafi Amir Malekpour Chris Garcia on Tumblr Kevin Munroe Joe Klocek's Zen of Funny Joe Tobin Justin Lamb's Let's Make A List First Laura Swisher's Untitled Blog Project Mike Spiegelman's Luggage Tuesdays Scamboogah! Trying To Get My Blog On (Beata)
Fine Sporting Websites
Carl Pavano
Deadspin Football Outsiders Free Darko Gilbert Arenas The Mighty MJD MJD @ The Fanhouse Too Much Rod Benson True Hoop
Local Bands
Chuckbeat Records
Elegant Clydes Inflatable Supermodel Last of the Blacksmiths The John Francis We Be the Echo
Artists
Sean Keane's Internet Famousness
Sean's Squelch Stuff
Sean Ghostwrites Jon Carroll: June 15, 1999 Sean On ModernHumorist.com McSweeney's: Scenes From A Blockbuster Action Movie Featuring A Technology Expert With Approximately My Own Real-Life Skill Level McSweeney's: Campaign-Trail Quotes From George W. Bush, If He Were Running for President in 1848 The Shirt Off Sean Keane's Back Seankeanester | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||