Please enjoy Lincoln/Kennedy Coincidences, published in the November edition of The Heuristic Squelch back in November, but hitting the internet right now! Laugh your asses off, all of you. No offense to the assless, of course.

As you know, my first love is and forever will be cage fighting, but stand-up comedy is a close fourth. I will be tickling funny bones and tearing comedy cartilage next Saturday, February 19th, in a return engagement at 50 Mason Lounge. Shockingly, the club is located at 50 Mason St., near Union Square. Hey, what's the deal with Union Square? Are we still rubbing it in to the Confederacy? Hey, Jefferson Davis, no traitors allowed on the cable car! And tell Stonewall Jackson to stop fondling the mannequins at Macy's! Hey, you ever notice how long it takes women to put on their hoop skirts? I finished combing my muttonchop sideburns a fortnight ago! It's like, ladies, we gotta be at Appomattox Court House some time before 1866, OK? Am I right, Sand Happers?

It's another comedy showcase, made up of many talented, up-and-coming local comedy talents, and probably one crappy guy. Most likely, no one will try to lick or bite you at this show. I'm doing ten minutes. I may or may not dance. The official promotional information appears below:

Come see the funniest and hottest SF comedians ranging from comedians who have performed in top cities, been on TV to brand new up and coming local comedians.

50 Mason, SF Comedy Club Friday Night Showcase

Where: 50 Mason, SF Comedy Club (50 Mason Street @ Eddy)

When: Saturday, February 19th, 8:00 - 10 p.m, (Doors open at 7:30 p.m.)

Admission: $10 (No Drink Minimum)

Transportation/Parking: One block from the Powell Street BART and Muni station. Parking garage conveniently located across the street from 50 Mason and a 'discount' parking lot is on Eddy Street.

Raffle: Great prizes given away each Friday and Saturday night!

Reservations: Please call 415.398.4129

Website: http://www.50masonlounge.com