Things are getting crazy in Pakistan, something that is well-documented at legitimate internet news sources. The president of Pakistan, General Pervez Musharraf, declared a state of emergency, closing down private TV stations, suspending the constitution, cracking down on the judiciary branch, and imprisoning his opponents. This is bad for the Bush administration, who has made Pakistan a big ally in the war on terror and supported them with billions of dollars in aid. It's embarrassing because they're supposed to support democracy, and Musharraf is acting like a dictator.

However, it seems like Pakistan should be a Republican wet dream at this point. Militaristic, focused on the war on terror, president who wasn't actually elected, power in the hands of religious fundamentalists, illegal abortions - Bush should be jealous. Add to that Musharraf's attacks on "activist judges" and the bonuses he awards for beating and imprisoning lawyers, and you would think Republicans would be drooling over the current state of affairs in Pakistan. Incidentally, the two people most prominently complaining about an activist judiciary in the past few days have been General Musharraf and presidential candidate Mitt Romney.

I don't know a lot about its internal politics, but I am not surprised that Pakistan has become violent, if only based on their bootleg DVDs. Yes, bootleg DVDs. The covers of black market DVDs of American films, in Pakistan, feature covers in which they imply far more violent content than their films contain. Or, as my friend reported after a trip to Karachi and many bootleg purchases, "Pakistani DVDs add guns."

Example: The Wedding Planner. As you can see above, the American, non-bootleg version is pretty innocuous. In the Pakistani version, a disembodied arm has been pasted in just below J-Lo's left shoulder, as if Matthew McConaughey was making her plan a wedding at gunpoint. Behind the couple, there is an ominous, shadowy figure holding a weapon. Finally, an automatic weapon points from the left side of the poster, pretty much floating in space.

What does this tell us about the international situation? One, we need to worry less about activist judges, and more about the activist MPAA, whose reactionary rating system apparently has held The Wedding Planner back from being something totally awesome. Two, the United States should devote some of its aid package to camera equipment, lighting, and high-end editing software. Like you wouldn't rent Lawyer Beatdown II: The Revenge? Finally, if the Bush Administration really wants to end this coup, they won't bother with wussy diplomats and negotiators. They'll send Matthew McConaughey, that shadowy dude behind him, and a whole lot of guns. This November: Plan on action!