Presented without revision - editorial commentary in italics
Note: Lists not actually funny
TOP TEN OTHER CAREERS FOR RONALD MCDONALD
10. President, Hair Club for Men
9. Pimp
8. Commisioner McCheese
7. Big Red Shoe Salesman
6. Shamrock Shake Machine Repairman
5. Dave Thomas's Bodyguard
4. Spokesman for American Heart Association
3. Assasin (sic) (so he can kill the Burger King guy.)
2. Friend of Bill
1. McBum
TOP TEN NICKNAMES FOR "BAN DONATO"
(note: despite appearances, list not actually supposed to be insulting)
10.
9. Dan Druff
8. CTLA
7. Dan the Man
6.
5. Fievel
4. Danny (His name is Dan!)
3. Ratboy
2. Boon (this was an elaborate reference to "Benny and Joon," since he was dating a girl named Jenni at the time, and so, Jenni and Boon...)
1.
TOP TEN REJECTED NAMES FOR METAL BANDS
10. Illiterate Wood Sprites
9. The Geraniums
8. Pink Lemonade
7. New Kids on the Block
6. The Scuzzy Long-Haired Guys In Black Who Don't Bathe a Helluva Lot
5. The Ballerinas
4. Satan's Petting Zoo
3. Crap
2. The Dropouts
1. The Gentle Fuzzy Rabbits... from Hell!
TOP TEN THINGS I DO IN MY SPARE TIME
10. Eat my weight in Apple Jacks
9. Lust after Wilford Brimley
8. Play Peter, Paul, and Mary albums backwards to decipher hidden messages
7. Two words: chipmunk lacrosse
6. Count to 100 in Swahili
5. Invent new uses for Sweet N Low
4. Play Peter, Paul, and Mary albums forward to decipher hidden messages
3. Hibernate
2. Teach Molly to fetch (This is mean for no good reason at all. I retroactively apologize for this joke)
1. Shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.
Reminder: Jokes are written by 14 year old Sean; thus, not funny.
i dunno...it's pretty funny...i mean...anything with "ban donato" involved has got to be pretty funny....right?
plus. the descriptions for your links are fucking brilliant. i am pleased with the addition to the nuala one and am liking the erica and jolie one quite a bit. i also am a little disgusted by how i keep UP-TO-DATE on your link descriptors.
I like Commisioner McCheese.
i have to agree, that's pretty damn funny, especially for a 14 year old. my humor at 14 consisted mainly of doing the greeting from "three amigos" every time i saw my best friend, and memorizing snl skits like they were the bible.
p.s. "virtual nub-rubbing"? suck my cock, sean.
what do you have against virtual nub rubbing, missy?
'teaching molly to fetch' sean? cmon man that's low!!! I already have to deal with a large portion of the dog population ACTUALLY being named Molly without being intentionally referred to as a one thank you very much. Haha, but if you were 14.. that means I was 9 or 10...and the reference begins to make sense hahahaha.