Snowball Implicated in Anthrax Mailings
The culprit responsible for deadly post-9/11 anthrax mailings has been identified by federal authorities. Snowball the pig was added to the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list, and arrest warrants were issued in four states. Director of Homeland Security Napoleon announced that findings have come to light that link the rebellious pig to letters mailed to Tom Daschle, NBC News, and Farmer Pilkington.
A break in the case came with the arrest of three hens with suspected Al Qaeda ties. When questioned by Napoleon, the hens broke down and confessed to being part of Snowball's conspiracy. This conspiracy is thought to extend past just the mailing of the anthrax letters, with Snowball also implicated in the recent terror bombing of the nearly-completed national windmill.
The current whereabouts of Snowball are unknown. Speaking from Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, newly-arrived detainee Boxer the horse expressed hope that Snowball would be caught soon, and added, "I will work harder."
Yeah, but are you coming to the Stork Club this Saturday night? The Scheme starring Ian Miller will be there. And the crowd starring Tracy Miller.
You'd get an A in my English class, Mr. Keane.