Bush Delivers Ultimatum to Iraq
In a nationally televised address from London, members of the alternative rock group Bush delivered a tough ultimatum to Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein. "For too long, Iraq has been subject to the tyranny of this madman," lead singer Gavin Rossdale announced. "Truly, there is no sex in Saddam's violence, both against his own people and those in neighboring countries. The time for negotiation has ended. The time has come to rock Baghdad."
The band presented a plan for a rock concert directly outside Hussein's presidential palace. If the embattled leader did not step down in 48 hours, the band was prepared to play a long set, featuring the entirety of the band's poorly received sophmore effort, "Razorblade Suitcase." At press time, band members had not ruled out the use of a second chord.
Rossdale continued, "People of Iraq, don't let the days go by. I couldn't change, though I wanted to, but you have the power to change the leadership of your country." He then stepped away from the podium and tongue kissed Gwen Stefani for nearly ten unbroken minutes.