Alex Trebek, In Various Parallel Universes

Male Nurse Trebek

Surgeon: We're losing him.

(EKG flatlines. Patient expires)

Female nurse: He's dead.
Alex Trebek: I'm sorry, it was a blockage in the right ventricle. The right ventricle.

Bomb Squad Trebek

Police Ballistics Expert: Should I cut the red wire, or the blue wire? Dammit, there's no time!

(Cuts blue wire)

Alex Trebek: The wire leading to the power supply is generally marked red, so you should have cut the blue wire. The blue wire. That'll cost you.

State Attorney Trebek

Defense Attorney: Due to the extenuating circumstances of the case, and the attempt at restitution made by the defendant, we would ask that the state agree to a suspended sentence and extended probation in exchange for a plea of "Guilty."

Alex Trebek: Can we accept that? Judges?

(Three beeps emanate from the bench)

Alex Trebek: I'm sorry, the state of California insists on jail time. Jail time.

Stand-Up Comedian Trebek

Alex Trebek: ...So we drive on a parkway, but we park on a driveway. And on Jeopardy!, the questions are the answers, and the answers are the questions. What's the deal with that?

(Silence)

Alex Trebek: Johnny Gilbert, is this thing on?

Wheel of Fortune Trebek

Contestant #1: I'd like to buy a vowel.

Alex Trebek: (Sighs) If you must.

Contestant #1: Can I buy...um...a "U"?

Alex Trebek: For the love of God, it's "Laissez-Faire Economics!" "Laissez-Faire Economics!" This isn't that difficult, people!

Contestant #2: Alex, I'd like to solve the puzzle.

Alex Trebek: (Sighs) If you must.

Google Search Engine Trebek

Google User: (types "pyongang north korea")

Alex Trebek: Did you mean pyongyang north korea?

Google User: Even in search engine form you remain smug, Trebek!

Posted by sean at May 23, 2003 02:06 PM