if animals were gangsta rappers, part 1

INTERVIEWER: Our guest tonight is Gane$h, superstar elephant rapper from Bombay. How you doin', Gane$h?

GANE$H: I'm aight. Working for peanuts, but ain't we all in this world?

INTERVIEWER: True dat. Let's jump right in here and talk about the new album. On the first track, you declare that the Indian elephant-African elephant feud is over. Is this because of the death of Babar?

GANE$H: You know, a lot of that Indian-African tension was just a creation of Ringling Brothers and the media. The feud was what it was, but no matter what was said, Babar's always been my pachyderm.

INTERVIEWER: You and Babar traded insults for years. His single, "Short Tusks In Yo Mouth (So My Trunk Can Fit)" set off an extended battle. You suggested he was afraid of mice. Babar mocked reincarnation. Finally, in "Burn Babar" you laid down a devastating verse arguing that Babar's work was just an extended apologia for French imperialism.

GANE$H: You know, we trumpeted back and forth a lot. But, yo, that's just how elephants communicate. It was all about selling records. And circus tickets.

INTERVIEWER: Do you think Babar's music will continue to find an audience, even in death?

GANE$H: Babar has a legacy now, and that's gonna last. We elephants, so you know we ain't gonna forget him. It don't matter what size ears y'all have. You gotta hear Babar.

INTERVIEWER: Well said. On a different note, your album cover sparked a storm of protests when you appeared wearing ivory jewelry.

GANE$H: That's misguided. It ain't an endorsement of poaching, 'phant. It's just bling.