Ring Tone Blog #1

Here's another audition blog for my new job, Building the Next Great Blog Network:

Ring Tone Blog #2

I have never downloaded a ring tone. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I think if Jesus had wanted "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" to play when we received a call, He would have included it in the factory defaults.

Choosing personalized ring tones for people in my address book is a delicate activity. It is an art that gains power and meaning through its limitations. Just as the White Stripes recorded an album using only pre-1963 equipment, or as Matthew Barney hooked himself up to bungee cords and ran up ramps to do his early paintings, so have I selected ring tones using only the standard Verizon Wireless assortment.

I believe that every person has one perfect ring tone out there - the electronic melody that best exemplifies their personality, the tones that declare, "I'm calling!" When my father calls, I hear "This Old Man". My little sister gets the tone "Snaggles", because she once broke off her front teeth in a bicycle taxi accident. G-Duck gets "Hava Nagila", because he is a Jew.

Michele gets the Chinese Melody, because they don't have a Japanese melody. Sure, maybe you could download a Japanese ring tone, but that defeats the whole point of this art. Also defeating the point is that Michele usually sends text messages, which have a completely different alert sound.

Sometimes a ring tone finds you. When I first discovered the ability to personalize rings, I started with my then-girlfriend. Since a call from her generally meant nothing good, I assigned her the "Uh Oh" tone. Even now, hearing that sound makes me reflexively apologize. But not for using standard ring tones. I will never apologize for using standard ring tones.