|
June 13, 2006
john daly and the one-armed bandit
In conjunction with an ESPN magazine cover story on John Daly, there is a new Bill Simmons column, in which he makes the novel argument that gambling by athletes is not that big a deal. He addresses the hypocrisy of pro sports' supposed intolerance for gambling, when football shows constantly make reference to point spreads, and ESPN devotes twenty hours a week to televised poker. The wildly popular NCAA Basketball Tournament is an event completely centered around office pools. Witness the lack of excitement for this year's Final Four, in part because George Mason was a "bracket-buster", and ruined many a gambler's pool. (For the record, my Final Four was LSU, Florida, UCLA, and UConn.) Absent a wagering interest, people couldn't work up much excitement for UCLA-Florida. The two main points that Simmons raises are: 1. Gambling is not always a debilitating, life-destroying addition. "Watch any TV show in which a character starts betting, and almost always, he loses control before the big 'intervention' episode." 2. One's competitive instincts toward sports would likely translate to competitiveness at gambling, and in fact, one's poise at the gambling/blackjack table could be an indicator of one's poise in a sporting event. Says Simmons: "If I owned a team, I'd insist on playing poker with any coach or manager I was thinking of hiring." As evidence for his argument, Simmons cites two stories about Michael Jordan. One involved observing his play at a high-stakes blackjack table in Connecticut, which showed off the poise of Jordan (and also that of a young Rip Hamilton). The second story was about Jordan bribing a baggage handler in order to win a small bet with teammates over which bags would emerge first from the baggage carousel, which showed Jordan's drive to win at anything, no matter how trivial. Jordan is an "alpha dog", The column is interesting, but it doesn't fit with the accompanying excerpt from John Daly's book. Daly is indeed a compulsive gambler, but he plays slot machines compulsively. Daly writes: "Playing slot machines for me is like being compeltely alone, on my own, like on a cross country drive. I'll check my watch and maybe 10, 15 hours have gone by. It's scary how far away I get."
What would Simmons say if he learned that a potential new coach had lost over a million dollars in five hours, playing slot machines the whole time? Probably, "Thank you for your time, but we're going to go in a different direction." Or, "Perhaps you'd be more comfortable working for Chris Cohan?" I'm sure that this is complete coincidence, and it couldn't possibly affect ESPN's editorial opinion about the legitimacy of gambling, but the Simmons column is followed by a two-page ad for PartyPoker.net. Posted by sean at June 13, 2006 11:47 PM | TrackBackComments
Post a comment |
About This Site
Sean Keane on Tumblr
Sean Keane Comedy Dot Com
Short posts, better name-branding
Recent Entries
belize it or guat, part one: the return
garfield is correct singles night: the aftermath singles night at at&t park marcus robinson retires as a chicago bear how gene is like iron man box office poison: iron man election reflections a sean keane update my father's internet famousness
Archives
Search
Backup Blog
Friends and Associates
Cementhorizon
Bertrand Russell Ate My Balls Being Famous Big Stupid Jerkface Brian Dermody Carthage Concrete Skyline Dan Ilic Dolores Park Couture Excess & Defects Fried Twinkie Girl I Fought The Law Hitsville KB Web Nuts To You Omar Seyal Penguin Peckings Pentavirate West - Bow Down When You Come To Our Town Scott Greenwalt Snoqualmie Sushi Tilted Fish The Weblog of J. Alfred Prufrock
San Francisco Comedy
SF Standup
Ali Mafi Amir Malekpour Chris Garcia on Tumblr Kevin Munroe Joe Klocek's Zen of Funny Joe Tobin Justin Lamb's Let's Make A List First Laura Swisher's Untitled Blog Project Mike Spiegelman's Luggage Tuesdays Scamboogah! Trying To Get My Blog On (Beata)
Fine Sporting Websites
Carl Pavano
Deadspin Football Outsiders Free Darko Gilbert Arenas The Mighty MJD MJD @ The Fanhouse Too Much Rod Benson True Hoop
Local Bands
Chuckbeat Records
Elegant Clydes Inflatable Supermodel Last of the Blacksmiths The John Francis We Be the Echo
Artists
Sean Keane's Internet Famousness
Sean's Squelch Stuff
Sean Ghostwrites Jon Carroll: June 15, 1999 Sean On ModernHumorist.com McSweeney's: Scenes From A Blockbuster Action Movie Featuring A Technology Expert With Approximately My Own Real-Life Skill Level McSweeney's: Campaign-Trail Quotes From George W. Bush, If He Were Running for President in 1848 The Shirt Off Sean Keane's Back Seankeanester | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||