We soldiers dig. We dig all day. This is the hole that we will fight and die in. Am I digging my own grave?

While step onning the society it before, embrace the ambition life ambition.

The first quote above is from the Memorable Quotes section of IMDB for Letters From Iwo Jima. The second is from my copy of Letters From Iwo Jima, which appears to have been subtitled in Engrish. Nevertheless, we're only a few hours from the ceremony, so I shall press on. Such are the perils of a life of piracy. I wonder if the pirates of old ever had this problem - abduct a nubile young wench, only to learn she only spoke Flemish. It's not the strongest way to finish up the Oscar Rodeo, but it will have to do.

Nominations: Four - Best Picture, Director, Original Screenplay, and Sound Editing.

Plot Summary: This is the companion piece to Flags of Our Fathers, the front runner for the Sound Editing and Effects awards. Flags told the story of Iwo Jima from the American side, while Letters shows the Japanese side of the battle.

Title of the porn version: Over Salty To Be Water Vagina

Strengths: Ken Watanabe. Interesting use of color, subtle storytelling technique. The structure of the story, with the letters, is fairly brilliant, even if the contents appear to be nonsense word salads. "I would certainly make an effort the report"? Come on, Iwo Jima!

Weaknesses: Japanese military positioning, inability to communicate. Seriously, "Stand the behind to looking at"? No wonder they lost the war.

Drug use: The subtitlers appear to be struggling with a Gosling-sized crack problem.

Physical or mental impairments: Subtitlers, again. As a side note, this has been a remarkably able-bodied field of acting nominees this year across the board.

Portrayals of real people: Everyone plays a real person.

Cute children: None.

Physical transformations: Only that which was caused by mortar shells.

Does a man cry?: They'd commit seppuku first!

Running time: 106 minutes.

Feels like: Look, I gave up after thirty minutes because of the Engrish. I'll see a legitimate version after the Oscars, but it's not winning any awards. I'm not missing out on any handicapping.

Prediction: No Oscars.

Deserves: To be continued...