sour shrek skittles

Fresh on the heels of yesterday's Shrek snack exposé comes another look at Shrek snack products. On my way to watch the Warriors play like a pack of galumphing ogres versus Utah, I purchased a bag of Sour Skittles for my friend. A newly directionalized and dimensionalized blogger and Sour Skittles enthusiast, Louise introduced me to the candy on a road trip to Los Angeles last spring. As an added bonus, these were special Shrek the Third Sour Skittles. I haven't seen any of the Shrek films, and conveniently enough, Louise is also my main source for Shrek information.

A sample conversation:

Sean: So, the princess is secretly a Shrek?
Louise: Only at night.
Sean: But her parents are humans, not Shreks?
Louise: Yes.
Sean: And that donkey is having sex with the dragon?
Louise: I have to go, Sean.

There are no hilarious jokes on this particular snack product. Instead, they promise "ogre-iffic" prizes, which in my case meant a Shrek screen saver. I would quibble over whether that qualifies as ogre-iffic, but I guess I like the screen saver as much as I like any ogre-related product.

One reason there aren't any knock-knock jokes on the Skittles packaging is that the company's creative energy went into making new "enchanted" flavors. Wizard Watermelon and Apple-y Ever After replace the decidedly disenchanted flavors of orange and grape. The sorcery of M&M-Mars knows no bounds! They even bewitched anti-obesity spokesman Shrek into endorsing roughly seventy-five different candy and junk food products.

As we have seen with other Mike Myers vehicles like Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me and The Cat in the Hat, the funniness of a movie increases with every additional promotional tie-in associated with it.

How are Shrek Sour Skittles as a candy? Wizard Watermelon is pretty good, but Apple-y Ever After is clearly inferior to the classic orange. I wish Wizard Melon had been "The End" of the flavor modification. Both new and old flavors provide the requisite acidity and damage the taster's tongue fairly severely, as sourficionados have come to demand from their candy. Much like Shrek the Third aspires to be, Sour Shrek Skittles are an inoffensive retread of a tried-and-true formula.

Coincidentally, we also got a chance to sample the new Sour Mix Mentos, which were extremely disappointing and not at all sour. If I were to design a commercial for the product, I'd set it at a sold-out rock concert. A frustrated fan is turned away at the door, but then he gets an idea. He turns his jacket inside out, pulls a cap down low on his head, and pretends to be a security guard. He pops a Sour Mix Mento into his mouth, and immediately begins to choke. The real security guards laugh at him, and then everyone at the concert leaves because the band sucks so bad. At the end, a bum steals his wallet and kicks him in the crotch. Then the announcer says, "Sour Mix Mentos: The Freshmaker?!?" all freaked out and horrified, and the commercial ends. There would also be a code on the package that let you download a Sour Mix Mentos screen saver that, when installed, immediately crashes your computer. Because that's what this candy does to your mouth.