flag day comes only once a year

Only once a year do I get to break out my Flag Day material, and then it goes back into mothballs for another 364 days.

My favorite thing about flags is that it unites different communities. The two groups that embrace flags most are gays, and the military. Traditionally on different sides, June 14th is the time both can find common ground. Flying the flag. Wearing their hair short. Working out.

In her own way, Betsy Ross was the original flag hag.

Mexico has an EAGLE eating a SNAKE while standing on a CACTUS. Badass. It's so badass that even the thing the eagle is perched on is a badass. The Mexican flag should be airbrushed onto the back of a black tank top. It's the flag equivalent of a guitar solo.

This flag could only be more badass if it was a T-Rex biting an alligator that was attacking a shark swimming through an oil fire, and the whole thing was surrounded by barbed wire.

You never hear about anyone burning a Mexican flag. I'm not even sure that flag would ignite. It would just give you a dirty look and shank you.

Meanwhile, the Canadian flag is a delicate maple leaf. The Mexican flag says, "Just try it, ese." Meanwhile, Canada's flag says, "We love pancakes." The US flag says, "We can fit a bunch more stars up here. Don't think we won't make Iraq a state."

News: Flag sales going up!

"I am an American and proud to be one," [Richard Marshall] said, adding that the 9/11 attacks made flag-flying more important.

Of all the things you could take away from 9/11, that's the one Richard Marshall focuses on. God, if only he'd hung that flag across the back window of his pickup truck a month earlier. Maybe those towers would still be standing.