The Reds beat the Giants 6-3 in the final game of their three-game series on Thursday. SFGate's sports staff is having some fun with the disappointing season:
1. The lead photo features Pedro Feliz being thrown out at second base, with the caption, "Not So Happy Peter". I didn't know that Molly-style nicknaming had spread so far. However, I'm not sure that "Unhappy Peter" would have been such a bad caption. It seems that the photo editors are following the Handley-inspired Squelch office Mp3-naming conventions, which led to such folders as "(not so)hip-hop", for rap music that was kind of dorky.
Also: "Peter" means "penis". Ha.
2. Henry Schulman chooses interesting language to discuss Cincinnati's general inability to win series:
Never before has the word "rubber" been uttered so much on the radio in the Queen City, as in, "The Reds can't win the rubber game of a series to save their lives."
This may or may not be true, depending on whether Venus Flytrap ever did safe sex PSAs on WKRP.
3. The Betting Fool rips on the All-Star Game in another SFGate column, and uses the nickname "Drugged Earwig" for baseball commissioner Bud Selig. I agree with the Fool's main thesis which is: The All-Star Game sorta sucks. This Giants season was built on the foundation of events that sell lots of tickets, but have very little to do with competitive baseball. The Barry Bonds home run chase and the All-Star Game are both very effective means to sell season tickets, and they're both going to be over at roughly the same time. Attention bargain-hunting Giants fans: there's going to be a lot of scalped tickets available in August.
Bonds has said he won't compete in the Home Run Derby, needing to reserve his old man strength for pursuing Aaron and nothing else. It's reminiscent of Westley in The Princess Bride, lying down to conserve his strength for his confrontation with Prince Humperdinck. In this analogy, Victor Conte is Miracle Max, Greg Anderson is Princess Buttercup, and the six-fingered man is, of course, Antonio Alfonseca. To the pain, Hammerin' Hank!
Will the Giants get back in the playoff chase? It'll take a miracle.
