The last presidential debate is tonight. More important is that I will be a part of Nato Green's "Laugh Out the Vote" this Saturday, at the Clubhouse. So this week, I'll be presenting a preview of some of the hilarious political material you can expect at that show. Today, How the Surge is like 2 AM Tacos.
John McCain's primary foreign policy criticism of Barack Obama is that Obama opposed "the surge" in Iraq, which has proved effective. Of course, if we hadn't invaded Iraq in the first place, the surge wouldn't have been necessary.
Obama is like the guy at the bar who warned his buddies against doing shots of Jagermeister at midnight. The shots are expensive, he argues, they just did a bunch of Car Bombs, and at this point, the guys who sent over the initial round of shots are at a totally different bar.
McCain wanted to do the Jager shots, and even bought a round of shots himself, but at 2 AM, McCain insisted that everybody stop for tacos to sober up on the way home. Obama wanted to just go home. After a difficult journey to a taqueria, the guys did seem to feel better.
McCain: "You were wrong about the tacos."
Obama: "Those guys are still throwing up."
McCain: "But they're throwing up in the toilet now, bro. Mission accomplished."
Obama: "OK, it looks like the tacos sobered them up - a little - but you never should have bought that round of shots to begin with."
McCain: "Dude, just admit that the taco surge worked."
Obama: "We never should have had that Jagermeister!"
McCain: "Don't be naive. If Taco Tuesday falls apart, it will have a profound effect on the Wednesday Pub Quiz, and the repercussions might be felt as far as Ladies Night on Thursday."
Obama: "Wait, whose credit card did you use? I'm not sure you know as much about bars as you pretend to."
McCain: "I know drinking. I had an alcoholic stepfather for 5.5 years".
Obama: "Fine, can we just go home now?"
McCain: "Don't give me a fucking timetable, man."