hooray for english


Why English Is The Best Language, Ever

Look, I'm sure you don't need a whole lot of convincing. We all know English is the linguistic top dog. But just in case there's any confusion, here's how English stacks up against a few challengers.

English vs. Spanish

The reason why English is superior to Spanish is the element of surprise. In English, an exclamation point can sneak up on you; it is a dramatic, often unexpected ending to a sentence. In Spanish, that exciting conclusion is telegraphed. One sees the upside-down punctuation, and automatically, one anticipates the exciting conclusion at hand. When the right-side-up exclamation point arrives, it is but anticlimax.

English vs. French

Look, Frenchies, without us, you'd all be speaking German, OK?

English Vs. Hawaiian

Hawaiian is ostensibly a very functional, useful language. In fact, the word "aloha" means both "hello" and "goodbye"! How magical that the same word can mean two totally opposite things! Of course, historically, that led to a few problems:

December, 1941 - Oahu

Lookout #1: Man, we sure lucked out being stationed here in Hawaii.
Lookout #2: You said it, mister. Hang on, we're getting a message. It says ma'iuauaua'liau'au.
Lookout #1: Ma'iuauaua'liau'au? What does that mean?
Lookout #2: According to my Hawaiian dictionary, it means "skies clear, no danger..."
Lookout #1: Great!
Lookout #2: ...or, "imminent Japanese sneak attack."
Lookout #1: That's bad. How do we know what they meant?
Lookout #2: Beats me. Don't worry about it - I'll get you another mai tai.
Lookout #1: Mahalo.

English Vs. German:

Look, Krauts, without us, you'd all be speaking French. Well, you'd probably still be speaking German, but in France or England maybe. But, without the Romans and Visigoths, you'd all be speaking Hunnish, OK?

English Vs. Old English:

When I was a freshman, my roommate's name was Yi. We didn't really get along. One day, when I was bitching to my friend about him, I said something like "Yi annoys the hell out of me." My witty friend shot back, "I understand you're annoyed, but why are you speaking in Old English?"

Anyway, choosing between English and Old English is kind of like choosing between accessing the internet through a cable modem or by yelling into a Dixie cup attaching to a string. Plus, when you're yelling into the Dixie cup, you have to pronounce every single consonant, since there's no silent letters. Also, it's the 11th century, so most of the online content is just Beowulf fan fiction anyway.

Final score: English, 5; Non-English, 0. USA! USA!


damn, seanie....you're just so awesome! :)


english vs korean
without us you'd be speaking japanese.

english vs chinese
who wants to live inside of a chop socky movie? our mouths would be forever out of synch with our voices.

english vs pig latin
you're only a derivitive.

english--8 foriegners/pigs--0.

just so you know - your blogging is freaking hilarious. i never comment because how can i compete? but don't let that stop you.

what she said.

hmmm... apparently you are letting it stop you.

but nothing will stop your rise to the top! hall of fame hall of fame!

who's the princess now, biotch?

sean. sean is the princess now. sigh.

that's right. who's your daddy.

(punk ass shaft voice) who's the man on the top of the pile?
(high pitched girls) sean!

but then again we must not forget sean(e)'s page in all this madness.

tag! come and find me, sugah.

HELLO! All of you are just cultural egocentric people talking mere trash to each other!!! I accept English has the most number of words, but that doesn't mean is the best language. For example, with Spanish you can express ideas in a ways you can't in English, Spanish is better to write poetry, you can write using the "beautiful" hyper-direct style of English, but you can also write using the indirect Spanish style, which gives readers the same satisfaction big works of art and sculpture give to people who understand the value of art. English is a technical language, but please, don't compare to Spanish, because Spanish, my language, is art! is a culture! and is spoken by more people than English. Thank youuuuuu. VIVA CUBA !!!!

pablo neruda can suck my meaty irish cock.

Didofoot, although I agree that languages shouldn't be compared like that, there are way more people in the world that speak English more than Spanish. It is a fact. Chinese is the most spoken language, but the English language is the most international language and is the 2nd most spoken language in the world. There are many American products sold around the world with English words on them. American music is heard all over the world. There are many American and British movies that are subbed in different countries. It's just plain endless...

Many youth from different countries that don't know how to speak English think it's a cool language, especially the Japanese. Notices that most Japanese anime have English titles. "Dragon Ball Z", "Sailor Moon", "Trigun", and "Cowboy Bebop" are only a few examples. Most of the time, Japanese youth would rather hear English than their own language. Hold on!!! What am I saying? English is not only the best language, but it's also the coolest!!! Japanese is the 2nd coolest language.

Japanese use English because they're the only who understand those strange signs. They chose English because commerce language is English, and because of american influence worldwide is evident.

Can anyone tell me what does CubanDicky mean? I wanted to use on one purpose, but I was looking at the dictionary and it seems to have another meaning...Can anglos specify me what they understand by "CUBANDICKY"?

I only want to say: �English vs other languages? �Why not compare your face with the WTC?. Problems far away are more easy to solve than problems in your home. You dont must create more and more enemies around the world. if you make it, you must eat it with "patatitas".
thanks, and please, learn from the countries with history and experience. :)

a joderse.

escondidos tras las mentiras de vuestra casa blanca (�blanca de que?) estais resguardados de la vida, solo comiendo hamburguesas y follando con gordas, mujeres repletas de silicona o tartas de manzanas.

Pero cuando os veis vulnerables (11M y otros) OS CAGAIS DE MIEDO (si,si, que lo hemos visto todos los habitantes del mundo, que por cierto, no se dividen solo en usa y otros extrangeros).

aprended a pensar, y entonces hablamos, vale?

et alora, mon ami, sayonara.

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This page contains a single entry by Sean Keane published on August 14, 2002 10:51 PM.

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