barry bonds: cross-dresser

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Barry Bonds made headlines this week, dressing up as Paula Abdul for the Giants' "American Idol" parody on the first two days of spring training. Observers were amused and horrified by the spectacle of Bonds in drag, complete with blond wig, fake breasts, and exposed, steroid-swollen shoulders. That Bonds's drag show coincided with the start of filming for his new ESPN reality show was mere happenstance. True Giants fans know that Barry Bonds has made a number of cross-dressing tributes to his favorite reality television programs during his Giants career.

1993: Mired in an eight-game losing streak in September, Barry tries to fire up his teammates by dressing as Real World cast member Tami. His lip-synced performance of "I'm a Slave(To Your Lovin')" is met with huge applause and laughter from his teammates. The scene turns ugly when Will Clark drags an underwear-clad Barry out of the dressing room, against his will, for an encore. A frightened Barry shouts, "It wasn't not funny!", and Clark is not re-signed after the season.

1999: This Week In Baseball attempts to exploit the new reality dating show craze by pairing up major league ballplayers for their own Blind Date segments. Barry dons a dress ("Just to be funny, man") for his outing with third baseman Charlie Hayes. The date goes sour after dinner, when Hayes attacks pitcher Todd Stottlemyre, claiming he was being taunted. Barry tears ligaments in his elbow separating the two men, and a pop-up bubble queries, "Is he on the juice?"

2002: Giants regulars produce a Survivor parody video for manager Dusty Baker's birthday. The video turns heated when Barry is voted out at a mock tribal council, and angrily denounces Jeff Kent as his torch is snuffed. "We had an alliance, dawg," shouts Barry. "If I ever saw you in the desert, trying to wash your truck, I wouldn't stop to give you any water to rinse the suds off." For some reason, Barry is wearing only a coconut bra and an improvised skirt made from his tribal buff.

2005: Reliever Jason Christiansen gets into a fistfight with Barry over who gets to play Naima in the clubhouse tribute to America's Next Top Model. Barry eventually leaves the team to continue his rehabilitation in Beverly Hills, preserving his dignity and manicure.

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This page contains a single entry by Sean Keane published on March 1, 2006 11:38 PM.

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