preparing for game three, part four: indians-yankees

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We're two games into the baseball playoffs, and all four series are at 2-0. How are teams getting ready for Game Three?

(See Part One, Part Two, Part Three)

Cleveland vs. New York - Cleveland leads 2-0

New York

Owner George Steinbrenner: Cleveland likes bugs, huh? It wasn't bad enough that we were in Cleveland - they've got to have actual vermin involved, too? Joe, we're going to fight fire with fire.

Joe Torre: Please don't do this, sir.

Steinbrenner: The Indians have gotta know, you don't bring a knife to a gun fight. Roger, get over here!

Roger Clemens: Yes Mr. Steinbrenner?

Steinbrenner: Clay Bellinger and Luis Sojo have been filling these jars all afternoon. I need you to place these all around the field.

Clemens: What do you mean?

Steinbrenner: This is a sack of rats. i want you to let them loose behind the visitor's bullpen.

Torre: George, that's crazy. I mean, that's crazy, sir. Besides, Roger is starting Game Three.

Steinbrenner: What, he's got to rest so he can pitch 3 1/3 innings and then leave for a reliever? I've seen him in the playoffs recently.

Clemens: Mr. Steinbrenner, I really don't feel comfortable doing this.

Steinbrenner: I'll give you five grand.

Clemens: At your service, sir.

Steinbrenner: Great. So my sources tell me Grady Sizemore is terrified of spiders. Let these tarantulas loose behind the monuments.

Clemens: Is that a beehive?

Steinbrenner: Yes. I want you to bury it six inches below the visitor's on-deck circle. Clay, any luck training Challenger to eat human flesh?

Torre: Excuse me, guys. I've got to go tell A-Rod that he's hitting 8th tonight.


(Manager Eric Wedge stands in the middle of the clubhouse. Behind him stands a life-sized cardboard cutout, turned to face the wall.)

Wedge: Gather round, everyone, gather round. Here's the moment we've all been waiting for.

C.C. Sabathia: Are we seriously gonna do this?

Wedge: (ignoring him) At the Al-Star Break, we were a full game out of first place. No one believed in us. Not the fans, not the media, and especially not the ownership

Travis Hafner: I was actually pretty confident. Our young talent was only going to improve as the season went on.

Grady Sizemore: Yeah, the fans have been great. And ownership has been nothing but supportive.

Wedge: I told you, 'Best I can figure, we need about 44 victories to win the division title or wild card, and then three more to get to the ALCS.'" And then I brought out this poster.

Hafner: I've said this before, but I think our goal really ought to be to win the World Series.

Sabathia: Seriously, please don't do this.

Wedge: This life-sized cutout of our 76-year-old owner Larry Dolan once had 47 stickers concealing his naked, liver-spotted body. But today, we stand one final victory away from the ALCS, and one final sticker away from...

Sizemore: Skip, we, uh, we really gotta go take batting practice. Right now. Pitchers, too - you never know.

Hafner: And infield practice!

Sabathia: Yeah, we need to leave before you turn that cutout around, dude.

(Players hurry out of the clubhouse en masse, except for Kenny Lofton)

Wedge: Kenny ! You want to watch the big reveal?

Lofton: Not now. I stole a base in Game One, so now I've got to nail this pair of batting gloves to the wall.


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This page contains a single entry by Sean Keane published on October 7, 2007 12:05 PM.

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