belize it or guat, part four: central american booze

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The primary beer of Guatemala, Gallo beer labels peel off incredibly easily, as if they're affixed to the bottle with nothing more than the sweat from a worker's brow. What this means is that a Gallo beer is the Hindu untouchable of the beer world. Its existence is currently pretty bad, but there's a good chance it's going to come back around again - maybe this time as a Brazha.

It can't be a coincidence that Gallo is both crappy Guatemalan beer and crappy Californian wine. I've also bought both, when using cheapness as determinant.


The primary beer of Belize, this tastes significantly better than Gallo - but it's still not great. You can get regular Belikin, Belikin Stout, and though I never personally saw it, there's also a Belikin Supreme. If you initially mishear the name, and you are a nerd like me, there's a moment where you have some Rime of the Ancient Mariner flashbacks. "Pelican beer? Well, I guess the Wedding Guest drank the blood of an albatross...and I AM pretty thirsty..."

Drinks of Caye Caulker

See exhaustive analysis at Sean Keane Comedy.

Rum Punch

A dangerous, dangerous drink, especially when you've been snorkeling for hours, and your only nourishment prior to drinking was a small fish sandwich and some saltines, and a snorkeling guide named Rasta Man is urging you to drink more, and refilling the pitcher every fifteen minutes. Beware.


There is a tradition in the Keane family where anyone who visits Molly and Roberto in Guatemala must also drink buckets of beer (AKA, cubetazos) with them. In addition, they must pose for a photo wearing the empty cubetazo around their neck. But what happens when someone's head is too freakishly large for a cubetazo necklace?


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Rum punch was also Mary Poppins' drink of choice. I don't know who would win in a drinking fight between her and Rasta Man, but I suspect that her capacity for drink, like her carpetbag's capacity for furniture, is limitless.

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This page contains a single entry by Sean Keane published on September 2, 2008 7:00 PM.

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