January 04, 2003
trends i have noticed, but do not understand

1. Cows sitting down.

I helped my younger sister to move some stuff from Rohnert Park yesterday. On my drive up through Marin, I saw many cows, all appearing to kneel or sit in their pastures. The first group was at least a hundred cows, none of which were standing. I thought they were injured at first, but it seemed to be the trend. I noticed at least twice as many sitting/kneeling cows as I did standing bovines.

Why was this? Were the cows sad? Were they hung over from an exhausting New Year's celebration, and random frantic milkings at midnight? Perhaps they were Muslim cows, performing one of their five-times-daily obligations to Mecca. Muslim cows aren't swayed by the desperate, fawning attentions of the Hindus, knowing in their hearts that Pakistan is and will always be the true owner of Khalistan.

All of the lambs I saw were standing, even the babies.

2. Pink Floyd on the radio

Ever since New Year's Eve, Dark Side of the Moon has been on the radio constantly. KFOG played the whole album a few times, "Us and Them" has been in heavy rotation on The Bone, and I've heard "Money" on The Drive. There's a possibility I'm unaware of the local Pink Floyd airplay, since in Berkeley I mostly listen to KALX. But, the Floyd has been so omnipresent that I've been checking to see if there was a recent death in the band or something. Of course, given that I haven't heard The Clash on the radio at all since Joe Strummer passed, that might not have been reason enough anyway.

So, what is it? The album is 30 years old, but it doesn't seem like that's enough reason for the huge airplay it's been getting. If Gene is correct, maybe it's a Mormon conspiracy. All I'm saying is, I don't want to hear any of that Wizard of Oz bullshit, OK?

3. This weird humming noise outside our apartment, not that loud but clearly audible, centered under the stairwell, which kinda goes on and off randomly with no discernible pattern, and kinda freaks me out a little.

It's ghosts. Definitely angry ghosts. Ghosts that are listening to "On the Run," but don't know the words. That's my guess.

Posted by sean at January 04, 2003 09:55 PM
Comments

Well, I can't comment on the Floyd, or the random noises.... but don't cows lay down or stand based on weather patterns? Am I making that up? Somebody who hasn't grown up in the city their whole life should really be commenting instead. I guess I'm not that helpful afterall. Oh well. =P

Posted by: Jolie on January 6, 2003 08:11 PM

It's a widely held superstition that when the cows are sitting, rain is imminent. I found a site that asserts a connection between cows' copious methane production and this age-old wive's tale:

http://www.webspawner.com/users/aadeogun/thecowtheorybyp.html

The theory is more Bellvue than it is Berkeley, and yet I have to ask, Sean, was it cloudy on the day of the sitting cows?

-Matt

Posted by: Matt Jacoby on January 6, 2003 11:10 PM

speaking of methane production. so there's this frog at my house, (which technically should indicate that it also smells like urine). but anyway, once the frog had a fart stuck in his bum, and he couldn't swim to the bottom of his cage. and he would make the effort and be all strain-y to swim but then have to give up cause his butt just stayed up there floating at the top. it was sad to see him. eventually one day though he must have released the gas because he managed to sink to the bottom again. where he remains to this day.

this story had nothing to do with cows. i apologize.

Posted by: michele on January 7, 2003 08:15 AM

you need to apologize for that story on so many levels.

Posted by: didofoot on January 7, 2003 09:01 AM

what? i do not.

Posted by: michele on January 7, 2003 10:15 AM

It was indeed cloudy on the day of the sitting cows.

Posted by: sean on January 7, 2003 11:43 PM