Aaron Vinson is not pleased with the way alphabetical order has affected his life. As a man with a "V" last name, he spent much of his public school career at the back of the alphabetically-determined line, called on last when roll was taken, his picture relegated to that last half-page of the yearbook along with W-Z and "camera-shy." Understandably, Mr. Vinson does not want his children to grow up victims of the same alphabetical prejudice he had to endure. And since reversing the institutional bias against end-of-alphabet last names would take years, if not centuries, Mr. Vinson is left with little recourse outside of a name change.

Potential name #1: Vincent Aaron

People invariably mistake his last name for "Vincent" anyway, so why not change the spelling and reverse the first and last names? The double "a" ensures that any Vins... er, Aaron children will be first in nearly any alphabetical arrangement imaginable. The downside to this is that Aaron is hesitant to have his children be first in line, with the inevitable pressure that comes with that position. Though not nearly the disadvantage of a "v " name, the surname "Aaron" is still less than ideal.

Potential name #2: Aaron Cavin

"Aaron Cavin" is a great name. It conjures up images of gentle guitar melodies, long flowing beard hair, and the occasional interpetive dance to Tom Waits' "Jockey Full of Bourbon." Aaron Vinson has in fact claimed to be Aaron Cavin on at least one notable occasion. The "c" last name means that offspring would be near the front of the line in elementary school, but not so far forward as to be self-conscious. A "c" name is like a B+ grade, a Golden Globe nomination, Milky Way bars, or the city of Phoenix: consistently above-average, but not so much that it stands out.

The drawback here is that Aaron Cavin himself still has a claim to the name. And it's not like Mr. Vinson's social group is lacking for name confusion as is, with more people named Josh, Ch/Kris, Kati/e than is really manageable, to say nothing of the multiple Aarons. Still, the name does have a certain ring to it, which leads to...

Potential name #3: Aaron Cavinson

This name has it all. It retains the alphabetical value of "Cavin," while making a homage to the original Vinson name. Potential Cavinson children need not fear name confusion, nor alphabetic prejudice. The Vinson signature can be easily modified to become the Cavinson signature.

We are still left with the problem of first name confusion. Just on Ward Street alone, the excess of Aarons often led to miscommunication and inefficiency. Ideally, Mr. Vinson-nee-Cavinson would have a more unique appellation than "Aaron." "Bin" was suggested, for brevity's sake, although "Go" and "Yes" were also considered.

One unique element of the original name, "Aaron Lloyd Vinson," is that the first and middle name start with double letters. It seems a shame to lose that. Kristina Almquist hit on a compromise name that would certainly be striking, and retain the Lloyd factor:

Potential name #4: Bin Lloyden Cavinson

Or BLC for short.