blind justice

| 5 Comments

ABC has a drama about a police officer, blinded in the line of duty, who fights his way back to the job and learns that in some ways, he's a better cop than ever. As ten or twelve different ads in the Church Street MUNI station will tell you, "He lost his sight...not his vision." The show is called Blind Justice.

There is something about the genre of crime and detective drama that allows the physically challenged to participate, and in fact excel at their jobs. In that spirit, I'd like to present some potential new shows for any interested blog-reading television executives still putting together their upcoming fall lineups.

"Special Agent":

An autistic teenager lives a solitary, withdrawn existence, until a bungled home invasion robbery results in the death of both of his parents - and reveals his hidden genius for forensic science. Now he's out of the house, and off to Quantico as the youngest and wackiest member of the FBI!

Sample dialogue:

"Uh oh. Five minutes until 'Law and Order'. Definitely only five minutes until 'Law and Order'."

"Hands!"

"You Have The Right To Remain Silent":

Tagline: He's no dummy.

A mute police sergeant brings criminals to justice, in part due to his hard-boiled interrogation techniques.

Sample dialogue:

"What's this about, copper? I don't know nothing about that robbery." (Pause. Sergeant cracks his knuckles.) "OK, I heard that Big Jimmy was gonna knock off some rich guy over on Mulberry, but that's it." (Pause. Sergeant removes his jacket.) "Fine! If I testify against Big Jimmy, can you make it so I don't do any prison time?" (Sergeant nods, signals to DA in sign language.)

The Short Arm of the Law:

While thwarting a bank robbery, a freak explosion costs Officer Cunningham his arms, below the elbow. With a little assistance from his helper monkey, and a whole lot of courage, Cunningham returns to the beat - dangerous, but not armed!

Sample dialogue:

"I gotta hand it to you, Cunningham, you were right about those Latvians."
"It was simple, sarge. No self-respecting Latvian deli could get away with serving sprats like that!"
"I got a tip on that body we found in the aqueduct - can you keep it close to the vest, Cunningham?"
"Sarge, it's the only way I know how."
"Eek eek!"
"You can't tell anyone either, Zephyr!" (Laughter.)

OCDPD:

The men of the 87th Precint are obsessive about fighting crime - and compulsive about justice. Also, they all suffer from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder to varying degrees.

Sample dialogue:

"Williams, I want you to run those lab tests again."
"But, Lieutenant, we've already confirmed the DNA match three times."
"Run the tests again. I'm going back to re-check the crime scene." (Lieutenant locks, unlocks police car for 3 1/2 minutes)

5 Comments

nod.

every time kristen and i see the commercials for next week's episode of blind justice on the tv (which is always the same even though it's a different week) we have to make cracks about it. but we are not nearly as methodically funny as you are.

"hands!"

wonderful.

I don't know why but it's totally intuitive that a helper monkey would be named Zephyr. Good job on tapping into the inner subconsious of ... well ok of me. We did live together though so I guess it makes sense.

I'm also glad that the Officer Cunningham segment was solely for "The Short Arm of the Law" and "...close to the vest..."

Well, don't forget that nice first line that just slid right by with no exploitation whatsoever. "I have to hand it to you, Cunningham..."

Doesn't OCDPD essentially already exist, in the form of Monk? Or was that intended?

Also, regarding the Toughkins post, which doesn't allow comments, I have read somewhere else (can't remember where) that joining such police support membership whatevers really are an informal way of getting police to exempt you from tickets.

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This page contains a single entry by Sean Keane published on March 23, 2005 6:44 PM.

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