upcoming events

Next week has got some big events coming up, all for the combined low low price of just $12. First, I will be returning to the stand-up stage at 50 Mason Lounge for their Saturday Night Showcase on April 9th, at 8 PM. I've performed at 50 Mason Lounge (located near Union Square, at 50 Mason Street) twice in the past four months. With this third appearance, I hope that I can do for this place what Tony Randall did for the Ed Sullivan Theater, and vice versa, except without me fathering a child at age 82 and subsequently dying. Admission is $10 with a ZERO drink minimum, to see probably eight comics of varying degrees, including mine, the M.F.A. of local highbrow unpaid funnymaking.

To prepare for my upcoming set, I have been trying out some new "racial" material, since it seems to be a popular subject among some of my open mic brethren. Here's a little sample:

"You ever notice how black people get hassled more by law enforcement? They're like, 'What seems to be the problem officer?', and it turns out they're getting pulled over because of racial profiling! Whereas with white people, it's more like, "Whoops, I ran a red light! Guess that cop didn't see me. Turn up that Linkin Park CD, man.' (point to front row) I see *that* guy knows what I'm talking about. And don't get me started on opportunities to play professional hockey! I mean, more like, professional *honky*!"

The official promotional show info is after the jump.

The second big event comes on April 13th, when Two Dollar Wednesday emerges from its seven-month hibernation to bring discount baseball and joy to the good people of the East Bay, plus whatever Raiders fans also buy tickets. It's nice to know that in a world where a movie ticket is $9.50 and MUNI fares are about to jump up to $1.50, the price of Wednesday night major league baseball, just like a Super Nintendo, is holding steady at 16 bits.

Just think, to see the playoff-bound Oakland Athletics battle the unfailingly-polite Toronto Blue Jays (7:05 PM, Network Associates Coliseum) will cost just 50 cents more than what it will soon cost to take the N train downtown. Of course, for those of us who will be taking MUNI to a downtown BART station to get to the ballpark in the first place, it's sort of irrelevant, but you can't ignore those savings! Hot dogs are only $1! Beer is still overpriced, but you don't mind as much when they're practically giving the baseball away for free. You mind even less if you've rigged up a hands-free camelback hydration system to smuggle in beer, but it's a great deal even without such a setup.

What a week. Two great events. Two great towns. Twelve small dollars. I hope to see many people there. Besides, have you ever noticed how white people illegally smuggle alcohol into professional sports stadiums? I bet that guy knows what I'm talking about!