In Communist Russia, Volga River paddles you! Luckily, in good ol' capitalist America, we canoe on the Russian River. We haven't begun the era of perestroika yet, so this expedition will still be centrally planned for Sunday, July 10th, the anniversary of the beginning of Boris Yeltsin's first term as president of Russia.
The fun starts around noon, or 11 PM Moscow time, and should last until about 5 or 6 PM (or 4 to 5 AM, for Muscovites). We will leave in caravans from the Safeway parking lot, at Church and Market, at 10, so we have plenty of lead time for traffic, life jacket mishaps, and the inevitable 3-4 hour bread lines in Forestville.
DO bring: $27.50 each ($55 per two-person boat, though the boats can hold a third non-paddling person. In Russia, everyone has to paddle "oar" KGB investigate family!), sunscreen, river shoes (don't bang them on your desk!) lunch, the spirit of liberty, water, beer, fond memories of Yalta, a change of clothes, a sun-deflecting hat, and sunglasses.
DON'T bring: Rubles, fur hats, feudal economic structures, anti-cossack prejudices, borscht.
Dossier on our canoe providers here
Our impending dominance of this River will be a metaphor for America's Cold War triumph over the Russkies, only with more singing and fewer space lasers. Be there, or be reported to the House Un-American Activities Committee.
Call dibs on rafting comrades in the comments section. Party members have priority.