1. If your cell phone is gone, and you need to find a pay phone to call in sick, you will pass three businesses that provide free wireless internet service before reaching a functional pay phone.
2. If you go to sleep wearing three sweatshirts, it is unlikely you'll wake up wearing more than one.
3. If you dream about your inability to fall asleep, that sleep is not going to be restful.
4. If you watch the Olympic women's free skate program, heavily fast-forwarded, while running a 101-degree fever, it's pretty much like taking mushrooms. From time to time, you might even hallucinate that Dick Button is speaking directly to you, criticizing your fitness and poor posture on the couch. Remember, vomiting is an automatic one-point deduction.