April 18, 2006
pontius pilates

How Easter Would Have Been Different If His Name Was Pontius Pilates

As a Roman governor, Pilates believed in more precise movements, not as many repetitions, dreaming about Galateans, and emphasizing mat work.

Rome might have never succumbed to the invasions of various tribes had his superiors allowed its gladiators access to training facilities 24 hours a day.

One question he posed to the crowd was, "Shouldn't the King of the Jews have better abs?"

The newly-discovered Gospel of Judas reveals that the crucial moment in Christ's trial came when Pilates asked the asembled mob decide who had the best core strength - Barrabbas, or Jesus?

A less-famous execution that Pilates presided over was that of Billius Blancus, a Roman peasant whose small following of tae bo enthusiasts threatened the established fitness aristocracy of Judea. Cardio boxing was considered heresy two thousand years ago. Opponents also felt that the forty-shekel price of the Blancus training program would have been better-served to go to the poor and out-of-shape, rather than toward razor blades and choreographer salaries.

Posted by sean at April 18, 2006 06:55 PM | TrackBack
Comments

"Welcome the Son."

Posted by: Danny Dawson on April 20, 2006 07:54 AM

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