that old time rock and roll

That Old Time Rock & Roll

A Short Play by Sean Keane

SETTING: BOG SEGER's bedroom.

(It is early evening. BOB SEGER sits on the floor, stage left, wearing an undershirt and boxer shorts, sifting through a stack of LPs. MRS. SEGER enters from stage right, wearing a stylish black dress and holding up shoes.)

MRS. SEGER: Which pair do you like better - the strappy one or the - Bob, what are you doing? I thought you were getting ready.

BOB: Just taking some old records off the shelf.

MRS. SEGER: Well we're meeting the Hendersons in thirty minutes, so I suggest you hurry up.

BOB SEGER: Right. Where are we going again?

MRS. SEGER: Bob, we've talked about this. We're seeing DJ Oscura spin at the Velvet Room. Amanda and Doug saw him in L.A., and they say he's great. We got our tickets a month ago, Bob.

BOB SEGER: And what kind of music does DJ Oscura play?

MRS. SEGER: (Crossing left) Mostly ambient house. Chillout music.

BOB SEGER: Ambient house, huh? I don't know. Doesn't sound like that's very good for soothing the soul. I think I'll just stay home. Maybe listen to some of these old records.

MRS. SEGER: Do not do this. Bob, we have been planning this night for weeks. You are going to this club with me.

BOB SEGER: (Shakes head sadly) You won't even get me out on the floor.

MRS. SEGER: Bob! You promised you would come with us!

BOB SEGER: Well...there's *one* sure way that would get me to go.

MRS. SEGER: What's that? (Takes hold of his hands) Tell me, Bob.

BOB SEGER: (Smiling) The DJ could start playing old time rock and roll.

MRS. SEGER: (Drops hands in disgust) No, Bob. Not this again.

BOB SEGER: Or funky old soul. Or even the blues.

MRS. SEGER: God, why do you always have to be like this? I can't deal with this attitude anymore! You're living in the past, Bob! I'm tired of listening to Chuck Berry every time we make love.

BOB SEGER: Just trying to lose those awkward middle aged blues, honey.

MRS. SEGER: Don't even start. Not tonight.

BOB SEGER: Honey, what's the big deal? So I like the blues. So I like to reminisce. Is that so bad?

MRS. SEGER: You know, I've been reminiscing, too, Bob. Reminscing about the days of old, when we used to go places, see art, listen to new music. You were different then.

BOB SEGER: Twenty years. Where'd they go?

MRS. SEGER: You're a relic, Bob! You know that? You're old fashioned, and you're over the hill. And I'm sick of it, Bob. Do you hear me? I'm sick of it. Now, I'm gonna finish getting ready to meet Amanda and Doug. And if in ten minutes, you're late for the door, I won't be coming back.

(MRS. SEGER exits, slamming the door behind her.)

(BOB SEGER stares after her for a long while, his face impassive. Finally, he goes back to his pile of records and begins sifting through them once again.)

BOB SEGER: I still like that old time rock and roll.

(BOB SEGER bursts into tears.)

CURTAIN