Video games are wonderful, but despite their advanced graphics and realistic simulations, they are often no substitute for real-life adventures. At my apartment, we've informally created our own live-action versions of popular video games. Here's the first in what promises to be a slew of new releases.
Anti-Tetris
Setting: The kitchen sink
Object: To stack dishes inside the kitchen sink so they rise well above the level of the counter, using as few dishes as possible. Use unrinsed plates, spatulas, and large pots half-full of water and uneaten food to create an inpenetrable barricade against the addition of more dishes, or any use of the faucet whatsoever.
You win when: One of your roommates breaks down and loads the dishwasher for you.
Bonus game: After completing a round, leave the apartment for 4-5 days. Turn off your cell phone.
Analogue to real Tetris: Take the skinny line block, and place it right in the middle. Take the next skinny line block and place it perpendicular to the first. Then, keep your Nintendo running, and leave the apartment for 4-5 days.
Coming soon!
Yoshi's Kitchen Island
Mega Man's Mega-Stack of Junk Mail
Veggie Burger Time
As long as we don't get Super Bomber Man: Battle Mode, I will continue to enjoy this series.
who knew tetris could seethe with this much rage?
The King of all Cosmos needs you to pick up your stuff, clump spirits.
I just returned home to learn that someone in the apartment is playing Anti-Tetris on the expert level. Now the game features pots filled nearly to the brim with filthy food-filled water, and both faucets blocked off, not just one. So, you can't reach the faucet to wash a dish, nor can you pour even a simple glass of water without dislodging three different pots.
The ant infestation wasn't enough of a warning, so maybe the Anti-Tetris game manufacturers need to include a disclaimer that kitchen messes cause migraines, or the consumption of carbohydrates.
Sometimes the thing to do when you're losing Tetris so badly is just to throw in the towel and start over. (Not the kitchen towel, though. It'd just get all grody.) Maybe you can try playing in the bathroom sink.