Man, oh man, do I hate the intersection of 59th Street and Telegraph Avenue. Now that I've become a commuter this summer, I have to drive down Telegraph to the Highway 24 entrance at least once daily, if not more. And nearly every time I do, I have to stop at 59th Street, even though there's never any cross traffic, since the only reason anyone drives on 59th Street at all is so they can turn right on Telegraph. So they turn right, but not before triggering the sensor and forcing cars to stop in both directions for a maddening 45 seconds while tumbleweed blows across the crosswalk. Sure, it's only 45 seconds, but over the course of the summer, that's nearly an hour and a half of my life that 59th Street has stolen. And I want it back, dammit.
It's so maddening, I wrote a song about it, called The 59th Street Stoplight Song (Feelin' Grumpy):
Slow down, you drive too fast
You gotta make the commute last
The 59th Street light is red
I'm headed home and feelin' grumpy
Hello stoplight, why ya glowing?
The other direction, no one's going
Why must ya be on a timer?
Still idling and feeling grumpy
We've all been waiting for half a minute
The intersection's clear, there's no cars in it
Pretty soon I'll break down, and start taking Ashby
Light, I hate you, All is grumpy
Hopefully, this will not spark Allen to renew his longtime debate about whether Paul Simon is the greatest lyricist of all time.
