pecking and kicking with dimitri


Many years ago, I regularly taught swim lessons to a little boy named "Dimitri". Dimitri was very tall for his age, which, when he was four, made people think he was a retarded eight-year-old. He wasn't, he was just funny and enthusiastic. Example: Dimitri was sitting on my lap during a Penguin swim meet, when he began bumping his face into my arm, nose-first. When I asked what he was doing, he exclaimed, "I'm pecking you!"

Dimitri also had a severe speech impediment. Like young Sean Keane, Dimitri said "w" for "r," but he also did the comparatively rarer "t" for "k" substitution. Once I got used to it and accepted that my name was now Sean Teane, it was easy to deal with.

One day, Dimitri and I were working on Fweestyle. He had a powerful kick, but it was totally out of control, with bent knees and erratic feet. Basically, he was more motivated by creating a lot of splash than actually propelling himself forward. He wanted to switch to Battstrote, but I insisted he work on keeping his legs together. By the end of our lesson, Dimitri figured it out, and was incredibly proud. Still clutching his kickboard, he began yelling to his mom to come and see his progress.

"Mom, look at my tits! Look at my tits!"


you're seriously like more fun than a thousand weasels.

HAHAHAHAHA. Oh, my god! Highsterical, Teane.

thai people sometimes tend to transpose "R"s with "L"s. one day my (thai) aunt, who was staying in our home, called my (white) dad and exclaimed: "my lamp broke! i need an erectician!!"

my mom also had a friend from the philipines who had false teeth and they were at a beach picnic and her friend was playing in the waves until she came running out crying: "my false tit! i lost my false tit!"

Yeah, asian accents are funny... One of my "uncles" used to get drunk at filipino gatherings and sind the old standards "Venus" or "Feelings", which would come out "Penus" and "Peelings." Ah, those were the good ol' days. My Japanese step-mom used to call my dad, whose name is Ray, "Lay" and used to park her car in the "galarge"... but I think she's got the r's down by now since she doesn't call me "Klistina" anymore.

Now, Sean, I hope this story isn't for real, or at least the kid's name isn't real. I mean, haven't you learned your lesson that posting cute stories about kids is just not acceptable in the post 9-11 world?... especially when it involves porographic words (i.e. "tit"). However, I admire your resolve to go ahead with your mission to amuse us with your cute stories... you're such a rebel!

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This page contains a single entry by Sean Keane published on April 22, 2003 3:04 PM.

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