Heads Up 7 Up
Teacher: Heads up, seven up! You can go first, Corinne. Who touched your thumb?
Corinne: I think it was Samuel L. Jackson.
Samuel L. Jackson: Nope.
Corinne: Samuel, I saw your shoes.
Samuel L. Jackson: Bitch, I didn't touch your motherfucking thumb!
Teacher: Class, let's just...read silently at our desks for a while.
Recess
Brad: Samuel L. Jackson, you're a doo-doo head.
Samuel L. Jackson: Oh yeah? Well I'm rubber, you're glue. Anything you say bounces off this motherfucker and sticks to you.
Brad: Doo-doo head! Doo-doo head!
Samuel L. Jackson: I know you are, but what the fuck am I? Tell me that, bitch!
Brad: Um...not a doo-doo head.
Knock Knock Jokes
Richard: Samuel L. Jackson, knock knock?
Samuel L. Jackson: Who's there?
Richard: Banana.
Samuel L. Jackson: Banana who?
Richard: Knock knock?
Samuel L. Jackson: I said, who the fuck is it?
Richard: Banana.
Samuel L. Jackson: Banana who?
Richard: Knock knock?
Samuel L. Jackson: Say 'banana' again, motherfucker! I dare you! I double dare you! Say 'banana' one more goddamn time!
Richard: O-o-o-orange you glad I d-d-d-didn't say b-b-b-banana?
Samuel L. Jackson: You're goddamn right I am.
