a ring tone is a wish your phone makes


Ring Tone Blog #1

Here's another audition blog for my new job, Building the Next Great Blog Network:

Ring Tone Blog #2

I have never downloaded a ring tone. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I think if Jesus had wanted "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" to play when we received a call, He would have included it in the factory defaults.

Choosing personalized ring tones for people in my address book is a delicate activity. It is an art that gains power and meaning through its limitations. Just as the White Stripes recorded an album using only pre-1963 equipment, or as Matthew Barney hooked himself up to bungee cords and ran up ramps to do his early paintings, so have I selected ring tones using only the standard Verizon Wireless assortment.

I believe that every person has one perfect ring tone out there - the electronic melody that best exemplifies their personality, the tones that declare, "I'm calling!" When my father calls, I hear "This Old Man". My little sister gets the tone "Snaggles", because she once broke off her front teeth in a bicycle taxi accident. G-Duck gets "Hava Nagila", because he is a Jew.

Michele gets the Chinese Melody, because they don't have a Japanese melody. Sure, maybe you could download a Japanese ring tone, but that defeats the whole point of this art. Also defeating the point is that Michele usually sends text messages, which have a completely different alert sound.

Sometimes a ring tone finds you. When I first discovered the ability to personalize rings, I started with my then-girlfriend. Since a call from her generally meant nothing good, I assigned her the "Uh Oh" tone. Even now, hearing that sound makes me reflexively apologize. But not for using standard ring tones. I will never apologize for using standard ring tones.


i once downloaded the theme song to 'sailor moon' for my phone. but using it made me feel way to nerdy and absurd. unlike the "hello moto" ring tone which generally makes me answer the phone with "heLLLLoOOOO mOOtOO". the sailor moon one should have convinced me to answer, "what's the haps, japs?" thank god i stopped using it.

It should have cause you to respond with:

"MOON POWER!!!"....or something along those lines.

or "I'll punish you!" complete with requisite hand gestures and pose.

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About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Sean Keane published on June 3, 2006 11:55 PM.

the new navy was the previous entry in this blog.

re-examining songs from my youth, part 5: "maneater", hall & oates is the next entry in this blog.

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