There has been some talk recently about vicious animals going after humans. I heard yesterday the blood-chilling tale of a miniature horse stampede in Virginia. Just days earlier, I was shocked by a harrowing story from a co-worker about a water buffalo chasing him through a forest in the Phillipines. My sister Megan, the birthday girl, was not spared the trauma of animal assault either.
She was three or four years old. Mom took Megan to a petting zoo, which had all kinds of different animals in it. All Megan wanted to do was meet some animals, but an angry goose would have none of it. Spotting that Mom's back was turned, the goose advanced on Megan in a wing-flapping, honking fury. Terrified, Megan fled, with the massive goose hopping after her, threatening to peck the hell out of her, like some reverse foie de gras nightmare come frighteningly to life.
Mom came to the rescue. Seeing her daughter in peril, she dashed over, cut the goose off, and punched it in the goose face. Megan would live to her twenty-fifth birthday (at least!). Later, Megan would tell anyone she encountered about her brush with death: "I was running, and then Mom came, and she SMACKED that old goose!"
Happy birthday, Megan! Keep smacking the old goose of oppression, negativity, and poorly organized library invoices!
I have a similar story about my sister. Except that it was at a park and it was a little dog who could only reach her heals. My sister ran through that park like there was a pack of wolves after her, screaming her head off. There was no heroic mom rescue however because mom and the rest of the park were laughing to hard to do anything except hold their sides. I still remember that event with a smile.
I wait for my sister to puch me from afar now.
Happy late Birthday Megan.
Happy Belated B-day Megan!
When I was really young, my mom used to take my sister and I to Lake Elizabeth on Easter to feed the ducks bird seed in overly-frilly, white Easter dresses. One year, a few of them got too rough and managed to "bite" my hand. I ran away, already frightened, but they gave chase and I fell, spilling seeds all over me which the ducks proceeded to peck off me, "biting" me more, pulling my hair and messing with my dress. After that, I was too afraid of the ducks to go back... I'm still kinda afraid of ducks, but at least I'm (a little bit) bigger now and I could probably smack a charging duck a-la-Mrs. Keane. Man, Sean, you mom is bad-ass, standing up to a mean duck like that... my hero!
hm, i don't have any animal stories, but my boyfriend toby was at a zoo once and he went up to the lion's den and started reading a sign that said "Beware when the lion turns his back to you". He looked up from the sign and saw the lion's rear end and the lion peed all over him.
ewww that's just...a smelly visual
i bet the lion is trained to only do that when people start reading the sign. oh, how i'm laughing.
I got stung by a bee. A few actually over this trip I call life.
But they're not really "animals." They're just bugs.
I suck.
I used to date this girl who was terrified of chickens. When she was a child, her older brother had trapped her inside a chicken coop and she's been traumatized ever since. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem that would affect anyone's relationship. But while I was dating her, I happend to work at a bird store (www.birdcrazy.com). Whenever she came to pick me up from work she would just drive up and honk because she just couldn't handle coming in.
Boy, Jolie, your girlfriend sure was... chicken.
from erica to sean: my favorite comment of the day, by far. how much of a dork does that make me?
from erica and jolie to teddy: we see you on the cementhorizon main page, we see you feeling ill at ease with michele's cute quiz, and now you pop up to put in your own two "animal attack" cents. so... who ARE you?
from Sean to Erica: Thanks, baby.
from Sean to Erica and Jolie: "Teddy" is Michael Perez ("Is he Irish, is he Mexican, or is he just white?"), a fine actor and even finer gentleman.
from Jolie to Sean: Fair enough, but where did this Teddy/Michael character come from??? And no more of this telling us where his ancestors came from. I wanna know why you know him and why I've never heard of him until he suddenly starting posting replies all over the cement horizon universe!
PS - from Jolie to Teddy/Michael: if you read this before Sean does, feel free to answer on your own behalf.
Whoa! CementHorizon snob alert!?
Mike P IN THE HIIIIZZZOUSE!!!!!!!!!!
I'll vouch for Teddy. He's a made man.
Woah! CementHorizon Bitch Alert!?
PS: Jolie and Erica (who did not post this) were just wondering who the great new addition to CementHorizon community was.
This is hilarious. This is the third email, phone call, comment, note that I've gotten today about "Hey, psst, gene, who's the new guy?"
Please welcome, Mr. Cody Sisco
http://eloise.cementhorizon.com/gallery/robyns_christmas_party_2001/RobynsChristmasParty01_14_a
(in the grey and yellow
P.S. what's with those satanic faces in the wall in that picture. Freaky!
I'm sorry, Jolie. I just sensed a bit of snobbery there and it had to be called out, particularly because Mike is a cool guy. The excessive use of qusetion marks, demands for knowledge about his identity and calling his comments "two cents" seems to indicate a kind of questioning of the legitimacy of his remarks and his right to make them in the "cement horizon universe". Thanks for calling me a bitch, btw... I've never denied it before and I won't start now. It's good to know I have fans out there. Peace on Cement Horizon.
i feel nervous commenting here now but i just wanted to say for anyone that is confused that what gene means is that cody's is the new webpage on CH: Quanta Recognitions.
http://www.cementhorizon.com/quanta/
However, the person everyone else is talking about here is mike "teddy" perez on the far left in this picture of kati v's:
http://eloise.cementhorizon.com/gallery/dvc_kids_2002/katie011
and that's my two cents.
Multiple people asked me, "Hey, why is Mike getting interrogated on your blog?" So I don't think commenting on the tone of said Perez-related inquiries was inappropriate, though I don't think Jolie meant any harm. I think that, rightly or not, Cement Horizon often seems very insular. And since I like having more comments, more stories, and more blogs to nerd away my time on, I'd hate to make someone feel less than welcome. Except that one dude who said Warren G was going to kick my ass. He can take a walk.
FYI: Mike is 21, went to Clayton Valley High School, goes to DVC, will be studying Theater down south in the fall, owns stain-resistant shirts you can spill drinks on on purpose, sometimes wears a bandanna even though some people (not me) have issues with it, can drink like a fish, can charm like a bracelet, and knows a lot of Soul Coughing lyrics.
Sorry for adding to the confusion, thought you were asking about cody not mike. Michele I owe you my life. Thanks for fixing my fuck up.
I'm gonna just slink away now and not but in until I actually know what is being discussed.
=)
Well Teddy, nice to have you around. Just to clear things up, I've always wanted you around. I like your comments, I was just wondering who you were since we seem to have multiple friends in common.
Kristina, on the other hand, can kiss my Black ass. Your half-assed apology is bullshit and my "excessive use of question marks" and "demands for knowledge" were signs of enthusiasm, not snobbery. Maybe you wouldn't be so used to people calling you a bitch if you gave them a chance to explain themselves before passing judgement.
I think, at this point, I'm just hurt. I was trying to make a sincere apology and explain to you how I (and apparently others, as well) could construe your comments to be anti-Mike. I accept that I was mistaken and was attempting to retract my comment, albeit poorly done. I don't want to have beef with you, and to avoid any such problems in the future, I will never address myself to you again.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I leave a web site for a few days and receive an instant upgrade from feeble junior college student to Man/Myth/Ledgend - Mike Perez. First off want to say thanks for the free publicity Sean, your comments page never revealed it's true power until now - a force to be reckoned with to be sure.
Secondly, I guess I should introduce myself. Most of it's been done for me, but "Hello" anyway. As much as it shames me to admit, you can classify me as a "lurker" because I do come on to the Cement Horizon main page at least once every few days, at most a few times in one day. Only because at work, I'd rather be reading your blogs than...well, actually working. What you people write is in fact more interesting than what most people I run into daily have to say (including myself), so compliments to all of you.
Erica and Jolie: Sorry I couldn't respond to the inquiries sooner, but here I am in full force. Your friend and author of "Ride The White Pony" let me know of CH and it's unrelentless ability to be cool all the time. So I checked it out and was thoroughly satisfied. I've been checking it out ever since - Hey, CementHorizon, nice URL's baby.
Sean, Gene, and Kristina: Thanks for the vouches. Sometimes I question me, and to know others don't, well that feels great. Shazaam.
Michele: Sorry about the "uneasy" comment. From now on I vow to take every "cute Asian girl w/ wings in a cloud wearing glitter" quiz I find.
Kristina and Jolie: Love, Peace, & Friendship. Learn it. Live it. Love it.
That's all I have to say about that.
PS> Hey Kati - like my bandana? I wore it low especially for you. Yeah baby...(starts to swivel hips)
PPS> Back to the bees. Back at the ripe ol' age of 9, my fellow cub scout troop member Nick Palmer and I were playing an adventurous game of hide and go seek in the back yard. After screams started to draw my attention, I went to find Nick, only to see him emerge from a large bush COVERED in bees. I felt bad for him. I felt helpless. I felt I should run inside and let Mom and Dad handle it. Sorry Nick.
Jolie: That was absolutely uncalled for, particularly since Kristina was called a bitch by someone posting anonymously. I don't like it. You've completely alienated a very cool person, and it's your loss.
ignoring the vast majority of teddy's comment, i focus on the important part, the part addressed to me and i say, "damn straight, you will." =)
hmmm... black ass...
Ya, sean, I ... hmm
I even went to check the IP address of Jolies comment thinking, she couldn't have .... hmmm....
ahh well.
Well, Kristina, I don't think you're a bitch. Sorry.
I don't think I've every intentionally hit an animal, let alone a goose. I was walking down castro a couple weeks ago, passing a dog tied to a tree outside a store (with the owner inside). The dog looked away from me as I was walking along the narrow sidewalk, then he turns his head back just as I'm passing him and I clock him right in the face with my knee. It made a really gross sound. I unintentionally apologized (to a creature that didn't speak english). Hope he was ok. He could have been a she for all I know, but I figured I'd avoid the ire of certain members of the reading community (my girlfriend) by not refering to the dog as 'it'.
ok, let's see if i can articulate what i'd like to say.
1. I'd like to apologize for creating confusion in the first place, since it was actually me at the computer typing things such as "two cents" and "ill at ease comments." As we've already explained, those were not meant to be condescending or exclusionary, but rather just plain cute, and i guess it didn't work.
2. I think what happened was that my tone was misconstrued by kristina. i FULLY ADMIT, looking back at our statements, that they could seem "snobby". she had every right to question the tone, but it seemed to me that she was not so much questioning as accusing, which is why we (still in a somewhat light-hearted manner, i felt) responded with the bitch alert statement AND, might i add, the explanation that we really just wanted to know who the cool guy was.
3. kristina's apology felt like anything but. the opening "sorry" took on a sarcastic tone when followed with statements such as "I sensed a bit of snobbery that HAD to be called out," statements which seemed to ignore the fact that we had already corrected any confusion.
4. the way i read kristina's "apology", i can see where jolie's comment was coming from. it didn't seem sincere, especially when ending with a tongue in cheek thanks for calling her a bitch. therefore, i thought it was a bit odd for her to feel hurt at that point. nonetheless, i appreciated the fact that she confessed that she had misconstrued our tone, and that her apology was poorly done. if her original apology had been like that, maybe jolie would not have responded as she did.
5. OK. here's where i should stop but keep going. 'cause see, i was impressed with teddy's response to both jolie and kristina, who probably both know that this whole thing got a little out of hand. he simply said to BOTH of them "Love, Peace, and Friendship. Learn it. Live it. Love it." which jolie, at least, tells me she appreciated. he was right, enough's enough, let it lie.
6. except that after that sean and gene apparently decided not to let it lie, and instead decided that ALL the blame for this whole thing goes to jolie. their comments confuse me for a number of reasons. first, they appear to be newly disturbed by the use of the word "bitch", when in jolie's second response to kristina, she was merely reacting to kristina's assertion that she likes to be recognized as a bitch. i wonder how they expect one to respond to such a statement. second, i cannot fathom what implications gene had in mind when singling out "black ass" as the part of jolie's post he's pondering with the "hmmm's" (the "hmmm..." format which, in my book, is the most condescending of this whole absurd string). suffice it to say, i hope there is a better explanation than the ones i can come up with.
7. there are my 7 cents, which i will wrap up by saying i think when things get said on the internet, there is a high risk of tone and intent being misconstrued. this whole thing is quite the testament to that. in light of this risk, i will refrain from passing judgement on gene and sean, but i do hope they reconsider, or at least further explain, what exactly they mean by their comments, which i "construe" at this point in time to be unnecessary and hurtful.
umm.. whoops. just trying to make peace. my bad.
...
Why can't this be over yet, it's making me sad... I think that if you all tried to see what you're doing here...arguing back and forth is not going to solve anything, it's only going to hurt feelings (even if you might not have meant to)
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
Mahatma Gandhi (1869 - 1948)
Be strong people!!
To clarify, the "bitch" comment I was referencing is "Woah, CementHorizon Bitch Alert!?" Anonymous insults on a message board ("Not Erica and Jolie" isn't the same as attaching a name) aren't conducive to civil dialogue.
Jolie's most recent comment seemed to me like it was designed primarily to make Kristina feel bad, and it probably succeeded. I thought it was unnecessarily mean, I didn't like it, so I said so.
Small animals and attacking: When I was very young, maybe one or two years old, my mom caught a ladybug in the backyard. She placed it in my hand to show it to me, and I immediately tossed it into my mouth and swallowed it. I swear, it had a gun.
I love you all, and I hate to see strife on the Horizon. As Erica said, it is very easy to misconstrue people's tones and meanings when everything is being typed, rather than spoken. I know that I, for one, read the whole initial encounter totally differently than others did, so it's easy to do. Let's forgive, *really* forgive and let it alone. I think by now everyone has had a chance to say their piece, and we can all respect each other for doing it, right? I know we can!!
Let's spread the love.
hey sean did you know you can disable comments on individual entries? it would make this whole thread invisible to everyone.
just a thought from here in the peanut gallery.
Yeah, I thought about that, but I don't want to make anyone feel censored or anything. Though it's true that many people are missing out on the spectacular comment thread for "stories about my sister megan, part 3: the doctor kit," as it is being shut out the "recent comments" box.
Did you stop comments?
Apparently not. This comment makes 35... only 2 more and you'll tie the current Carthage "Playing with Matches" flame war comment count. I wish you good luck and godspeed toward obtaining this momentous CH honor.