lessons from young sean, part 1: getting what you want

| 3 Comments

When I was younger, I had a severe speech impediment. I said my "r"s like "w"s, and I also had a lisp. In combination, it made me sound like a gay Elmer Fudd.

I was also pathologically afraid of asserting myself, or asking for things, which has continued to a lesser degree today. That fear would lead to conversations like this:

YOUNG SEAN: Mom, I'm thowta (sort of) hungwy.

MOM: What would you like to eat, Sean?

YOUNG SEAN: Well, I was thowta thinking of thomething wound.

MOM: Like an apple, Sean?

YOUNG SEAN: Wellll...maybe thomething a little cwunchyah.

MOM: Do you want some crackers?

YOUNG SEAN: Wellll...maybe thomething a little bit thweetah.

MOM: Sean, would you like a cookie?

YOUNG SEAN (feigning surprise): Oh? Wellll...that would be OK.

I got over the speech impediment after months of rigorous effort in fourth grade, but I never did quite get over my anxiety over asking for things. In times of stress, I fall back on old habits:

PRETTY GIRL: So what were you calling about, Sean?

PRESENT-DAY SEAN: Wellll...I was thowta wondewing if you wanted to do thomething Thuthday night.

PRETTY GIRL: What did you have in mind?

PRESENT-DAY SEAN: Wellll...I was thowta thinking about thomewhayah on Shattuck Avenue.

PRETTY GIRL: Do you want to go to Jupiter's? Maybe get some food at Cha'Am?

PRESENT-DAY SEAN: Wellll...I was thowta thinking of thomewhayah that had thoft theats, whayah you could make out in the dahk.

PRETTY GIRL: Do you want to go to the movies, Sean?

PRESENT-DAY SEAN (again feigning surprise): Oh? Wellll...that would be OK.

3 Comments

sean, what was the thing you said about "weagan's cwonies"?

Young sean or old sean, the lisping and the circular talk is still cute.

February 2012
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
      1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29      

About This Site

Sean Keane on Tumblr

Sean Keane Comedy Dot Com
Short posts, better name-branding

Backup Blog

Friends and Associates

San Francisco Comedy

Fine Sporting Websites

Local Bands

Artists

Sean Keane's Internet Famousness

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Sean Keane published on June 19, 2003 11:06 AM.

Point/Counterpoint: Tony the Tiger vs. Bill Walton was the previous entry in this blog.

lessons from young sean, part 2: the world of politics is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

Powered by Movable Type 5.04