I had the stomach flu this week, and it was pretty gross. I was pretty nauseous, and not just from looking at the kitchen sink. I also missed a few days of work.
I learned that when you have stomach problems, people recommend the BRAT diet, which, I was disappointed to learn, does not involve eating lots of bratwurst. Rather, it means your staple foods should be Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, and Toast. Alternative diets also add in tea (BRATT) or yogurt (BRATY). I feel like I was informally following the BRATTY diet, which involves whining, pouting, and refusing to eat anything.
When I returned to the office after missing a few days, people were happy to see me, but concerned about my health. The office manager asked how my flu was, and learned I hadn't eaten much in the past four days. "Wow, I would have expected you to look more gaunt," she said, glancing down at my waistline.
"Fuck you too", I only thought, and went back to filing documents, sipping Gatorade, and choking back both metaphorical and actual bile.