Slowly, but surely, Comedian Sean Keane is climbing the Google ladder. Musician Sean Keane still has the top spot, as well as superior numbers, but the lower rungs of the Sean Keane results increasingly involve comedy and blogging, rather than tin whistles and Killarney. The man with the finest tenor voice in Ireland still holds the top spot, but the comedian from SF has #3, #5, #8, and #12. My MySpace page barely edges out his Wikipedia page, which doesn't seem right, but I'll take it.
There are a contingent of new Sean Keanes around the web. Before I add them to the master list of Sean Keanes, let's take a close look at the Sean-Keane-come-latelys. As always, I will be analyzing each Sean Keane to see which, if any, pose a threat to my Google search result supremacy.
Sean Keane is a member of Cub Scout Pack 961, in Hillsboro, VA. Technically, he came in second, but look at those standings! Only Hunter Smith beat him, and Hunter Smith is a Webelos I. Meanwhile, Sean Keane is only a Bear, but he still beat everyone except Hunter, AND all the people in Webelos II. Besides, Hunter's dad probably totally helped him out, and did a lot of the sawing for him. Among the Bears, Sean Keane was #1, and no, I am not talking about my popularity with heavyset bearded men in my neighborhood.
Verdict: If he wins the Webelos I division next year, I am officially worried.
He rollerblades professionally, and he goes by the name "Sean Money". Sean Money made a movie called "Whether It Makes Cent$, or Not", and another called There And Back, which is about rollerblading all over America. He also makes art. And as of this weekend, he's a college graduate.
Verdict: This guy is so much cooler than I am, it's ridiculous. Rollerblade Sean Keane is a serious threat, not just to my Google standing, but to my self-esteem.
This Sean Keane has an extensive background in lighting and photography. Lucky for my Google standing, his full website is still under construction. I'm jealous of his impressive expertise, and of how many light kits he owns, but I'm not jealous of his page rank.
Verdict: A talented Sean Keane, but not a dangerous one.
I have decided that this Sean Keane is Canadian based solely on his pronunciation of "about". Based on his material about airbags, VCRs, and call waiting, I assume he appeared on TV sometime during the 1980's He's very polished, and an excellent post-punchline dancer, but I can find no mention of him other than the page of Youtube user "vicdunne". "vicdunne" hasn't responded to my messages requesting more info, so this Sean Keane will remain a mystery.
Verdict: If more old clips emerge, he could be trouble. That's why I plan to re-record all oh his material and upload them to YouTube myself, under the name of Master Sean Keane.
I feel close to this Sean Keane, because thanks to the rhythm method, I was conceived in the state of Wisconsin. Dr. Sean Keane graduated from Irish medical school almost 50 years ago, so I don't expect him to be tech-savvy. Irish medical school is just like American medical school, just with a greater focus on liver ailments. Also, your professors often get drunk and throw scalpels at you.
Verdict: Dr. Sean Keane isn't a Google threat, but he is a threat - a threat to people's pre-conceived notions of what an immigrant can or can't do. And how nice Milwaukee can seem if you grew up in a Third World country.
Like the orthopedic surgeon in Wisconsin, this Sean Keane is a doctor. However, while the former Sean Keane got his degree from the National University of Ireland, this Sean Keane attended the Starfleet Academy. Some stats:
Full Name: Sean Patrick Keane
Place of Birth: Athenry, Republic of Ireland
Weight: 152 lbs
Distinguishing Marks: 4 inch scar on left shoulder blade, 9 inch scar across chest
Where are the Sean Keanes now?
Friend To the Van Den Hende Family Sean Keane (AKA, The Other Sean M. Keane) is now a lawyer. Soccer Sean Keane is now a college graduate. Congratulations to all the Sean Keanes, near and far, tall and small. Mostly not tall.