Receipts

I got a paper receipt after I voted this year, though I'm not sure why. I have a feeling that this goes back to the disputed election of 2000, possibly as part of a litany of whiny voter complaints. "The butterfly ballot was confusing, and it was too hard to push out chads all the way, and it was cold in the polling place and I didn't get a receipt either!" Or it was remorseful Nader voters, hoping that in future elections, they could go back and exchange their votes.

The three places in San Francisco that are most insistent about making you take receipts are polling places, Walgreen's, and Ross Dress-For-Less. At the latter two, they fine cashiers five bucks if they forget to give one out, while at the polls, refusing a receipt will make an elderly woman from the League of Women Voters cry. In all three places, you will often leave feeling confident about your selections, but very quickly feel like you just got ripped off.

Legislative panhandling

When I look at the San Francisco ballot, I often feel like I'm getting panhandled:

Measure A: "Sir could you spare a quarter..."

"...of a percentage increase in the city's sales tax? I'm just trying to get a cost of living increase for teachers, maybe get something to eat."

And of course, my reflexive response is, "No, sorry, no, gotta go." Then I rationalize my callous behavior by deciding that the schools are just going to spend that extra tax money money on booze.

Hillary isn't quitting

Even though she has been mathematically eliminated from the race for the Democratic nomination, Hillary Clinton is not giving up and dropping out of the race. In a related story, I am not yet given up on my pursuit of becoming a professional baseball player. Sure, I can't hit a curve ball, or throw the ball from third base to first on the fly, or make an out with crying and blaming my allergies, but the important thing is to keep fighting, and never give up on your dreams. In the next couple of days, I will be deciding how to best continue, and I invite all Americans to share your thoughts with me here at Zembla or at Sean Keane Comedy Dot Com. In addition, I am still accepting donations.

I would, however, settle for a front office position with a professional baseball franchise. Any team that hires me would automatically receive the support of my 18 million readers, so I think they would have to consider it.