a keane family wedding, part 1: let's roll

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My older sister got engaged about a month ago. The engagement story was very sweet, as she was surprised with an engagement ring at her book club meeting. I won't go into the details, but suffice to say, it's the most romantic engagement story ever to prominently involve The Satanic Verses.

They wanted to get married in September or October, but didn't set a specific date for a while. The decision hinged on many complicated factors, including Chinese lucky days, rental availability, and the Cal home football schedule. I have my own idea for the perfect wedding date: September 11th, 2006.

It's the five-year anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. What better way to show how America has recovered than to celebrate the union of the Megan and Nevin, the Twin Towers of Romance? Who would be opposed to that? The Taliban?

Instead of the Mendelssohn's "Wedding March", they'll walk down the aisle to Paul McCartney's "Freedom" - Nevin dressed as a fireman, Megan as a police officer. Instead of exchanging rings, they will award each other medals. And after, "You may kiss the bride", the priest will solemnly tell the newly-wedded couple, "Let's roll!" In your face, Bin Laden!

Best of all, using September 11th would really cement their long-term future. After all, no matter how badly the marriage gets screwed up, no matter how much lying and deception comes to light, and no matter how low their approval ratings for one another might plunge, September 11th will guarantee they'll have at least seven more years in the Oval Office marital bliss.

After all, if they get divorced, it means the terrorists have won.

1 Comment

you know, it's the people who get married every day that are the true heros.

I mean...not the ones who get married day after day. They are the true bigamists.

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About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Sean Keane published on April 8, 2006 9:43 PM.

iron comic 3 recap was the previous entry in this blog.

a keane family wedding, part 2: being a licensed minister is the next entry in this blog.

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