(In Flashbacks, we revisit old unrealized comedic material unearthed from old notebooks and post-it notes. A Flashback is not a stranger, just a friend you haven't yet met.)
Ideas For Future Epitaphs - December 1998
An inscription in Latin, that when translated reads: "This epitaph is written in Latin."
"Think of Sean Keane when you read this epitaph."
"Try not to think about your own impending death as you read this."
"Any flowers you leave here will slowly die and be eventually thrown away, just like you and I."
"What's the deal with undertakers, anyway?"
"If reincarnation exists, perhaps someday I will journey to this cemetery, and this epitaph will give me a clue as to who I once was. But most likely, my reincarnated self is sitting on a couch in the suburbs, eating cheetos and deciding when it would be okay to masturbate again."
"Get used to disappointment."
"West Side 'til I die! So, East side!"
"Maybe I shouldn't have taken those barbiturates and drank that vodka, as it seems there was no spaceship on that comet after all."