Two traveling salesmen and Henry Kissinger are walking down the road. It's getting dark, so they stop at a farmhouse. They go up to the door and ask the farmer of they can stay the night. He says yes, but they have to sleep in the barn, and they aren't allowed to touch his daughters, or undermine socialist governments in South America.
So they go to sleep, and during the night, the farmer's three daughters sneak into the barn, and the travelers can't resist, even Kissinger, though he also sneaks into the house and makes a long-distance call to a Chilean general in the middle of things. The farmer bursts in with a shotgun and catches them with the girls, and immediately marches them out to his field.
When they get out there, the farmer orders them to go out and pick ten of their favorite fruit. The two salesmen come back, carrying grapes and plums. The farmer tells them, "Now shove them up your ass." The guys try, but they keep looking out at the field and cracking up, and the fruit falls out. They get as many as nine, but are overcome with laughter.
The farmer looks at them and says, "Look, you're free to go once you get all ten up there. You were so close. What is so god-damn funny?"
The first salesman says, "Kissinger's picking watermelons!"
And the second says, "And ordering the assassination of Salvador Allende!"
Ah, the ol' watermelon-up-the-ass joke is always a good one and, although it never ocurred to me before, it's even funnier when an old-ass war criminal is the butt (hehe) of the joke. My favorite fruit, b.t.w, is green apples.
If your favorite fruit was pomegranite, would you have to work with the whole fruit or just the seeds?
Whole fruit, unless you're Persephone, in which case it's five seeds.
me, i've always been a big fan of raisins.
Is a dildo considered a fruit or a vegetable?
You. Are. A. Fucking. Genius.
Amen.
you are the best sean.
i suppose this is as good a time as any to share our brain child with the public:
http://www.netherrealm.net/~allen/sally/